CASE WORKER. [Snappily.] I didn’t prepare those blanks, but I have to fill them out.  One can have an occupation, like stenography, when trained for it, even though they have never been employed.

TED. All right, put that down and go ahead.

CASE WORKER.  Stenography?

TED. No, collecting.

CASE WORKER.  But collectors aren’t trained.  One has to have worked at that.

TED. Then say I worked as a collector for my father.

CASE WORKER.  What business was he in?

TED. He was retired.

CASE WORKER.  Then what did you collect for him?

TED. First editions.

CASE WORKER.  Please talk sense.

MARTIN.  Books.  A book collector.

CASE WORKER.  You mean, a bookkeeper?

TED. [Bitterly.] We kept them as long as we could.  My father died during the Wall Street panic.  He’d gone bankrupt.  Since you want to know how I lived, I lived for some time by selling my father’s books.

CASE WORKER. [Writing.] Then you lived without working, on property that you inherited?

TED. Yes, till that source was exhausted.

CASE WORKER.  When was that?

TED. Some time ago.

CASE WORKER.  You must be definite.

TED. Then say two years ago.

CASE WORKER.  You sold all your father’s books?

TED. I still have the family Bible, a set of Shakespeare with the marginal notations made by father while he was at Oxford, and a few others.

CASE WORKER.  How much do you consider those books worth?

TED. I consider them invaluable.

CASE WORKER.  But you must set a value upon them.

TED. Why?

CASE WORKER.  Because if you own anything worth two hundred dollars you are not eligible for relief.

TED. I have nothing worth that to anybody but me.

CASE WORKER.  You say you quit selling these books about two years ago.

TED. Yes.

CASE WORKER.  How have you lived since then?

TED. Chiefly on borrowed money.

CASE WORKER.  From whom did you borrow the money?

TED. From friends.

CASE WORKER.  You have very prosperous friends?

TED. I had some prosperous friends.

CASE WORKER.  You are extremely well-dressed for an applicant for relief.

MARTIN.  Let me explain that.  We were to have a little dinner party tonight ...

CASE WORKER.  And he bought a new outfit for this dinner.—­Hasn’t even had time to remove the price tags.—­Do you mind removing your coat?

TED. [Takes it off.] I was about to take it off.  I’d just come in.

CASE WORKER. [She rises and looks at maker’s label in coat.] H’m.  Madison Avenue. [Noses his suit at close range.] And the suit is better than the coat.—­This is the best I’ve run into yet.  Expensive suit and coat; new shoes; matched accessories.  Not much left of a hundred dollar bill, was there?—­But I suppose your rich uncle died since you applied for relief?