She threw the hood back from her abundant hair and stood a little apart, her hands pressed upon her eyes, struggling with her tears, already wondering at the sudden, overwhelming emotion that had swept her into this betrayal. He mused in a troubled way, perplexed by her contradictions avowal, feeling that, after all, he might have done this girl a great wrong.
‘Has your life been so unhappy, then?’ he asked.
‘It has been too happy,’ she replied in a constrained voice.
‘Too happy?’
’If I had learned to know sorrow sooner I could have borne it better, perhaps; but until a year ago my life was all happiness. Before that I had those who loved me, and neither fears nor cares. My father died, and mother followed him within seven months. I was their only child; I found myself alone, beset with anxieties and terrors, utterly desolate. I am going to be Mrs. Macdougal’s companion at her husband’s sheep-run, deep in the Australian Bush, and to teach their children. Since coming aboard I have been too much alone; I have had too much time to think of my hopelessness, my loneliness. There were moments when I seemed to be cut off from the world. It was in one of these moments that I—I—’ She made a significant gesture. Her voice had grown faint, and her limbs trembled.
‘Stay,’ he said gently, ‘I’ll get you a seat.’
His concern about this stranger, his curiosity, occasioned no self-questionings, no probing into motives. For the time being his customary attitude of mind—that of the pessimist sceptically weighing every emotion—deserted him. He had been, in his small circle in Chisley, the one person with a tangible grievance against life, but here he found another at more bitter variance with Fate, and weaker by far for the fight. A mutual grievance is a strong bond. He was lifted out of himself. When he returned he found Lucy Woodrow much more composed. She thanked him, and seated herself in the shadow.
‘Mr. Done,’ she said, ’I owe you an apology. You did me a great service, and I have made that an excuse for inflicting my troubles upon you.’ Jim noted the conventional phrases with a feeling of uneasiness. ’You are very kind, but something I have confessed I want you to forget. I lost control of myself.’
‘You may trust me to say nothing.’
Yes, yes; I am sure of that,’ she added hastily, ’but I want you to forget. I should not like to see it in your face if we meet again.’
‘Why fear that? For what you did you have to answer to yourself alone.’
‘I did not confess the truth even to Mrs. Macdougal,’ the girl went on in a low voice. ’I have been a little hysterical, and it is very good of you to bear with me.’
’I’m glad you told me; it gives me an interest, and I’ve never been interested in the fate of another human creature since I was a mere boy.’
‘I did wrong in the sight of God. You have saved me from a great crime.’