“Bed or couch, or whatever you please, sir.”

“No, that’s my ‘barnacle’.  And what do you call these?” said he, pointing to his pantaloons.

“Breeches or trousers, or whatever you please, sir.”

“You must call them ‘squibs and crackers.’  And what would you call her?” pointing to the cat.

“Cat or kit, or whatever you please, sir.’

“You must call her ‘white-faced simminy’ And this now,” showing the fire, “what would you call this?”

“Fire or flame, or whatever you please, sir.”

“You must call it ‘hot cockalorum’; and what this?” he went on, pointing to the water.

“Water or wet, or whatever you please, sir.”

“No, ‘pondalorum’ is its name.  And what do you call all this?” asked he, as he pointed to the house.

“House or cottage, or whatever you please, sir.”

“You must call it ‘high topper mountain.’”

That very night the servant woke her master up in a fright and said, “Master of all masters, get out of your barnacle and put on your squibs and crackers.  For white-faced simminy has got a spark of hot cockalorum on its tail, and unless you get some pondalorum high topper mountain will be all on hot cockalorum....”

That’s all!!

[Illustration:  White-faced simminy has got a spark of hot cockalorum on its tail]

MOLLY WHUPPIE AND THE DOUBLE-FACED GIANT

Once upon a time there was a man and his wife who were not over rich.  And they had so many children that they couldn’t find meat for them; so, as the three youngest were girls, they just took them out to the forest one day, and left them there to fend for themselves as best they might.

Now the two eldest were just ordinary girls, so they cried a bit and felt afraid; but the youngest, whose name was Molly Whuppie, was bold, so she counselled her sisters not to despair, but to try and find some house where they might get a night’s lodging.  So they set off through the forest, and journeyed, and journeyed, and journeyed, but never a house did they see.  It began to grow dark, her sisters were faint with hunger, and even Molly Whuppie began to think of supper.  At last in the distance they saw a great big light, and made for it.  Now when they drew near they saw that it came from a huge window in a huge house.

“It will be a giant’s house,” said the two elder girls, trembling with fright.

“If there were two giants in it I mean to have my supper,” quoth Molly Whuppie, and knocked at a huge door, as bold as brass.  It was opened by the giant’s wife, who shook her head when Molly Whuppie asked for victuals and a night’s lodging.

“You wouldn’t thank me for it,” she said, “for my man is a giant, and when he comes home he will kill you of a certainty.”

“But if you give us supper at once,” says Molly craftily, “we shall have finished it before the giant comes home; for we are very sharp-set.”