It is a fatal error in an officer to court popularity by unworthy means, or indeed by any means, except those of fair-dealing and strict propriety, equal justice to all, and as much indulgence as the nature of the service will admit of.  But, at the same time, advantage may be taken of accidental opportunities of putting the people into good-humour during an outfit; and by indulging them in a jollification, we may occasionally give them something to think of at the moment, and to talk of for weeks afterwards.

When I was fitting out his Majesty’s sloop Lyra at Deptford, in 1815, to accompany the embassy to China, under Lord Amherst, it occurred to me one cold morning, the 24th of December, that it might not have a bad effect on the good name of my pretty little craft, if I gave the ship’s company a regular blow-out the next day.  I communicated this idea to the first lieutenant, who, seeing no objection, sent for some of the leading men, and said each mess was to have a goose and a turkey for their Christmas dinner.  My steward was then told to arrange the details; and presently he came to report that the men had taken it into their heads, that, as the best poultry was to be procured in London, they should like exceedingly to be allowed to despatch an embassy to Leadenhall Market for that purpose; the first lieutenant agreed also to this, and two seamen and one marine were forthwith landed at Deptford to execute the mission.  A cart being hired, off they set, returning before sunset, with as noisy a cargo as ever I saw packed together.  It so happened, that while we lay on one side of the hulk, I forget her name, another ship was lashed on the opposite side for some temporary purpose.  The crew of our neighbour dined on Christmas-day on soup and beef as usual, and remained contented enough till some of our fellows, waddling under the effects of double allowance of solids, and perhaps with a trifle too much of fluids, came singing and capering along the deck of their hulk.  In the most good-humoured way possible, they asked their neighbours how many geese and turkeys they had discussed that day.  The meagre answer called forth shouts of merriment, and the poor fellows belonging to the other ship were rather unhandsomely taunted with the scantiness of their Christmas fare.  “Look at that and weep, you hungry-faced rascals!” exclaimed one of our jolly blades, holding up the drumstick of a goose in one hand and that of a turkey in the other.  He was answered by the practical joke of having the two bones twisted from his hands and shyed in his face, according to the most approved tarpaulin manners.  This was the signal for a general melee, and the officers had enough to do to separate the contending hosts.

A few days before the next Christmas-day came round, when we were lying in the River Canton, my steward came to me and said,—­

“The people, sir, have been talking for the last two or three weeks of hardly anything else but the ‘row’ at Deptford this time twelvemonth, when you gave them a feast on Christmas-day.”