Title:  Treat ’em Rough Letters from Jack the Kaiser Killer

Author:  Ring W. Lardner

Illustrator:  Frank Crerie

Release Date:  October 23, 2005 [EBook #16929]

Language:  English

Character set encoding:  ASCII

*** Start of this project gutenberg EBOOK treat ’em rough ***

Produced by Marilynda Fraser-Cunliffe, Verity White and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

[Illustration]

TREAT ’EM ROUGH

LETTERS FROM

JACK THE KAISER KILLER

By

RING W. LARDNER

AUTHOR OF

My Four Weeks in France, Gullible’s Travels, Etc.

ILLUSTRATED BY

FRANK CRERIE

INDIANAPOLIS THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY PUBLISHERS

Copyright 1913
the Bobbs-Merrill company

Press of BRAUNWORTH & Co.  Book manufacturers Brooklyn, N.Y.

[Illustration]

JACK THE KAISER KILLER

Camp Grant, Sept. 23.

FRIEND AL: Well Al I am writeing this in the recreation room at our barracks and they’s about 20 other of the boys writeing letters and I will bet some of the letters is rich because half of the boys can’t talk english to say nothing about writeing letters and etc.  We got a fine bunch in my Co.  Al and its a cinch I won’t never die in the trenchs because I will be murdered in my bed before we ever get out of here only they don’t call it bed in the army.

They call it bunk and no wonder.

Well Al I have been here since Wed. night and now it is Sunday and this is the first time I have not felt sick since we got here and even at that my left arm is so sore it is pretty near killing me where I got vacinated.  Its a good thing I am not a left hander Al or I couldn’t get a ball up to the plate but of course I don’t have to think of that now because I am out of baseball now and in the big game but at that I guess a left hander could get along just as good with a sore arm because I never seen one of them yet that could break a pain of glass with their fast ball and if they didn’t have all the luck in the world they would be rideing around the country in a side door Pullman with all their baggage on.

Speaking about baseball Al I suppose you seen where the White Sox have cinched the penant and they will be splitting the world serious money while I am drawing $30.00 per mo. from the Govmt. but 50 yrs. from now the kids will all stop me on the st. and make me tell them what hotel we stayed at in Berlin and when Cicotte and Faber and Russell begins to talk about what they done to the Giants everybody will have themself paged and walk out.