After his return from Fonthill Lady Nelson and himself lived together again for a time in their London lodgings, in Arlington Street, and there, according to the story told forty-five years afterwards by Mr. William Haslewood, Nelson’s solicitor, the crisis of their troubles was reached.  “In the winter of 1800, 1801, I was breakfasting with Lord and Lady Nelson, at their lodgings in Arlington Street, and a cheerful conversation was passing on indifferent subjects, when Lord Nelson spoke of something which had been done or said by ’dear Lady Hamilton;’ upon which Lady Nelson rose from her chair, and exclaimed, with much vehemence, ’I am sick of hearing of dear Lady Hamilton, and am resolved that you shall give up either her or me.’  Lord Nelson, with perfect calmness, said:  ’Take care, Fanny, what you say.  I love you sincerely; but I cannot forget my obligations to Lady Hamilton, or speak of her otherwise than with affection and admiration.’  Without one soothing word or gesture, but muttering something about her mind being made up, Lady Nelson left the room, and shortly after drove from the house.  They never lived together afterwards.”  Though committed to paper so many years later, the incident is just one of those that sticks to the memory, and probably occurred substantially as told.  Lady Nelson’s ultimatum will probably be differently regarded by different persons; it shows that she was at least living human flesh and blood.  In later life, we are told by Hotham, who was in the habit of frequently seeing her, up to her death, in 1831, “she continually talked of him, and always attempted to palliate his conduct towards her, was warm and enthusiastic in her praises of his public achievements, and bowed down with dignified submission to the errors of his domestic life.”

The same testimony is borne by a lady, of whom Nicolas speaks as “the personal and intimate friend both of Lord and Lady Nelson, and the widow of one of his most distinguished followers,” but whose name he does not give.[19] “I am aware of your intention not to touch upon this delicate subject:  I only allude to it in order to assure you, from my personal knowledge, in a long and intimate acquaintance, that Lady Nelson’s conduct was not only affectionate, wise, and prudent, but admirable, throughout her married life, and that she had not a single reproach to make herself.  I say not this to cast unnecessary blame upon one whose memory I delight to honour, but only in justice to that truly good and amiable woman....  If mildness, forbearance, and indulgence to the weaknesses of human nature could have availed, her fate would have been very different.  No reproach ever passed her lips; and when she parted from her Lord, on his hoisting his flag again, it was without the most distant suspicion that he meant it to be final, and that in this life they were never to meet again.  I am desirous that you should know the worth of her who has so often been misrepresented, from the wish of many to cast the blame anywhere, but on him who was so deservedly dear to the Nation.”