On the 20th Nelson received formal leave to return to England in the “Seahorse,” and on the 3d of September his flag was hauled down at Spithead.  On the way home he suffered much.  After amputation the ligature had been awkwardly applied to the humeral artery.  As he would not allow the surgeon to examine the stump during the passage, this was not then discovered, but the intense spasms of pain kept him irritable and depressed.  It is likely, too, that his discouragement was increased by brooding over the failure of his enterprise; believing, as he did, that had he been with the landing-party, the first attempt would have succeeded.  He could scarcely fail now to see that, although it was strictly in accordance with service methods for the senior to remain with the ships, the decisive point in the plan, as first formed, was the seizure of the heights, and that there, consequently, was the true place for the one in chief command.  Any captain, Troubridge especially, could have placed the ships as well as Nelson.  It is self-accusation, and not fault-finding merely, that breathes in the words:  “Had I been with the first party, I have reason to believe complete success would have crowned our efforts. My pride suffered.”

Whatever his mental distress, however, he always, from the time of receiving the wound, wrote to his wife with careful cheerfulness.  “As to my health, it never was better; and now I hope soon to return to you; and my Country, I trust, will not allow me any longer to linger in want of that pecuniary assistance which I have been fighting the whole war to preserve to her.  But I shall not be surprised to be neglected and forgot, as probably I shall no longer be considered as useful.  However, I shall feel rich if I continue to enjoy your affection.  I am fortunate in having a good surgeon on board; in short, I am much more recovered than I could have expected.  I beg neither you or my father will think much of this mishap:  my mind has long been made up to such an event.”

Immediately after quitting the “Seahorse” he joined his wife and father at Bath.  For a time the wound seemed to be progressing favorably, but the unlucky complication of the ligature threw him back.  “Much pain and some fever,” he wrote to a friend soon after his arrival; and while he kept up fairly before his wife, who spoke of his spirits as very good, he confessed to St. Vincent, on the 18th of September, that he was then not the least better than when he left the fleet.  “I have suffered great misery.”  This letter was dated in London, whither he had gone a few days before to be invested with the Order of the Bath, which was formally done by George III. in person on the 27th of September.  He was graciously received by the King, who conversed with him after the ceremony, and by his manner throughout made a lasting impression upon the mind of Nelson, whose loyalty was intense.  The Order of the Bath remained the most highly prized among his many decorations.  At the same time was awarded him a pension of L1,000 a year.