too honourable for me, and I have many dear friends
among the godly both in Leith and in Edinburgh.
But I feel bitterly that I have no business to mix
myself among them, and to be counted one of them.
For, what with the burdensome affairs of this great
seaport, and my own growing business, my days and
my nights are like a weaver’s shuttle.
I intend and I begin well, but another year and another
year comes to an end and I am just where I was.
I have had some success, by God’s blessing, in
making money, but I am a bankrupt before Him in my
soul. My inward life is a ravelled hesp, and
I need guidance and direction if I am ever to come
out of this confusion and to come to any good.
Protestant and Presbyterian as I am,’ he goes
on, ’if I could only find a director who would
take trouble with me and command me as I take trouble
with and command my servants, I vow to you that I
would put the reins without reserve into his hands.
Will you not take me in hand? You know me of
old. We used to talk in dear old John Meine’s
back-shop on week-nights and upstairs on Sabbath nights
about these things. And long as it is since
we saw much of one another, I feel that you know me
out and in, and through and through, as no one else
knows me. Tell me, then, what I am to do with
myself. I will try to do what you tell me, for
I am wearied and worn out with my stagnant and miserable
life. Pity me, Mr. Samuel, my honoured and dear
friend, for my pirn is almost run out, and I am not
near saved.’
‘My worthy and dearly beloved brother in the
Lord,’ replied Rutherford to Fleming, ’I
dare not take it upon me to lay down rules and directions
for your inner life. I have not the judiciousness,
nor the experience, nor the success in the inner life
myself that would justify me. And, besides,
there is no lack of such Directories as you ask me
for. Search the Scriptures. Buy Daniel
Rogers, and Richard Greenham, and especially William
Perkins. My own wall is too much broken down,
my own garden is too much overrun with weeds; I dare
not attempt to lay down the law to you. But
I will do this since you are so importunate; I will
tell you, as you have told me, some of my own mistakes
and failings and shipwrecks, and the rocks on which
I have foundered may thus, be made to carry a lantern
to light your ship safely past them.’
’Fool, said my Muse to me,
look in thy heart and write;
and, like Sir Philip Sydney, Samuel Rutherford looked
into his own heart, and drew a Directory out of it
for the better Christian conduct of his friend John
Fleming.
1. Now—would you believe it?—the
first thing Samuel Rutherford found his own heart
accusing him in before God was, of all things, the
way he had wasted his time. Would you believe
it that the student who was summer and winter in his
study at three o’clock in the morning, and the
minister who, as his people boasted, was always preparing
his sermons, always visiting his people, always writing