Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, September 8th, 1920 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 54 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, September 8th, 1920.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, September 8th, 1920 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 54 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, September 8th, 1920.

When, on reaching the station ten minutes too early, I remonstrated with him, he apologised.

“I am sorry,” he said; “I didn’t know you were behind me.  I was really pace-making for ’Flyaway’—­there, over there.”  And Piggott pointed to a stoutish man with iron-grey whiskers mopping his forehead and the inside of his hat, and looking incredulously at the booking-hall clock.

“But that is Mr. Bludyer, senior partner in Bludyer, Spinnaway & Jevons,” I said.

“It may be,” replied Piggott.  “But I call him Flyaway.  I find it more convenient to have a stable-name for each of my racers.”  And he proceeded to expound his invention to me.

Like so many great inventors he had stumbled upon the idea by chance one morning when his watch happened to be wrong; but he had developed the inspiration with consummate art and skill.  It became his diversion, by means of the pantomime that had so successfully deceived me—­by dramatically shooting out his wrist, consulting his watch, instantly stepping out and presently breaking into a run—­to induce any gentleman behind him who had reached an age when the fear of missing trains has become an obsession to accelerate his progress.

“It is amazing,” he said, “how many knots you can get out of the veriest old tubs.  This morning, for instance, Flyaway has taken only a little over six minutes to cover seven furlongs.  That’s the best I have got out of him so far, but I hope to do better with some of the others.”

“You keep more than one in training?” I questioned.

“Several.  If you like I will hand some over to you.  Or, better still,” he added, “you might prefer to start a stable of your own.  That would introduce an element of competition.  What about it?”

I accepted with alacrity.  The very next day I made a start, and within a week I had a team of my own in training.  The walk to the station, which formerly had been the blackest hour of the twenty-four, I now looked forward to with the liveliest impatience.  Every morning saw me early on the road, ready to loiter until I found in my wake some merchant sedately making his way stationwards to whom I could set the pace.  I always took care, however, not to race the same one too frequently or at too regular intervals, and I take occasion to impress this caution on beginners.

In the train on the way to the City Piggott and I would compare notes, carefully recording distances and times, and scoring points in my favour or his.  It would have been better perhaps had we contented ourselves with this modest programme.  Others will take warning from what befell.  But with the ambition of inexperience I suggested we should race two competitors one against the other, and Piggott let himself be overpersuaded.

I entered my “Speedwell,” a prominent stockjobber.  Handicapped by the frame of a Falstaff, he happily harbours within his girth a susceptibility to panic, which, when appropriately stimulated, more than compensates for his excess of bulk.  The distance fixed was from the Green Man to the station, a five-furlong scamper; the start to be by mutual consent.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, September 8th, 1920 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.