I asked one or two of the letters to explain their silence.

“Well,” said Z, “cricket has never interested me.  But then my range is very narrow.”

“And mine’s even narrower,” sighed X.

“If it weren’t for QUAIFE,” said Q, “I should be in despair and play nothing but a quiet game of quoits now and again.”

“H may have that long string,” said W, “but he breaks down badly here and there.  Where’s his six-foot-six left-handed bowler and bat?  He hasn’t got one.  I have, though, in WOOLLEY.  And where’s his master of the game, practical and theoretical, in a harlequin cap?  The wisest captain any county ever had and the most enthusiastic and stimulating?  In short, where is H’s P.F.  WARNER, whom we’re all so sorry to lose, but who had such a glorious farewell performance?  Where?  Ha!”

“I claim a share in the Middlesex captain,” said P proudly.  “For is he not a Plum?  I hate to see him go, but I shall not be fruitless; look how PEACH is coming along.”

“And who owns the All-English Captain, I should like to know?” said the deep voice of D.  “Not to mention a DENTON and a DURSTON and a DOLPHIN and a DIPPER.  It is something to own a DEAN; it is more to possess a DUCAT.”

“Isn’t life going to be very dull for all of you till next May?” I asked.

“Oh, no,” said A, who hitherto had not spoken.  “We’re going to follow the English team’s doings in Australia.  And won’t it be A1 when they bring back the Ashes?”

“Absolutely,” I agreed.

E.V.L.

* * * * *

ANOTHER IRISH PROBLEM.

    “Tuesday next, I may explain, is Belfastese for Tuesday next, and means
    to-day.”—­Daily Paper.

* * * * *

GENEROSITY AT THE GROCER’S:  “Provided you get one bad egg from us, we will on your returning it give you two for it.”

* * * * *

From an engineer’s letter:—­

    “We are exhibiting ——­’s Patent Nibbling Machine at the Laundry Trades
    Exhibition.”

We have often wondered how our collars get those crinkled edges.

* * * * *

    “The club before declaring at 5 wickets had put up a formidable score
    of 341, Major Ireland making 434 and Capt.  Green 127.

Capt.  M.A.  Green, stpd.  Mistri b.  Evan ... 27
Maj.  K.A.  Ireland, c. & b.  Bignall ...... 134
Newnham, b.  Evans ......................... 4
Lieut.  Foley, b.  Evans .................... 4
Maj.  Englefield, b.  Powers ............... 22
Lieut.  Cambon not out .................... 15
Extras ................................... 35

Total for 5 wickets misdeclared ......... 341
Egyptian Gazette.

We thought from the start that something was wrong.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  The Rector. “VERY NICE, MRS. BROWN.  VERY CREDITABLE INDEED. BUT PERSONALLY I CONSIDER THE MARROW A MUCH OVERRATED VEGETABLE, APART, OF COURSE, FROM ITS DECORATIVE VALUE AT HARVEST FESTIVALS.”]