EVOE.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE CAP OF LIBERTY:  LE DERNIER CRI.

EGYPTIAN SPHINX.  “HOW DOES IT SUIT MY STYLE?”

THE LORD HIGH MILNER.  “WELL, I MAY BE PREJUDICED IN FAVOUR OF MY OWN
CREATION, BUT I THINK IT MOST BECOMING.”]

* * * * *

RHYMES OF THE UNDERGROUND.

  The story has been told to you
  Of good Adolphus Minns of Kew,
  Whose virtuous ways have won renown
  From Barking Creek to Acton Town.

  Now with that hero’s blameless life
  Contrast the conduct of his wife: 
  Avoidance of egregious sins
  Is not the way of Mrs. Minns.

  That lady, I regret to say,
  While bent on shopping every day,
  Makes no attempt to get it o’er
  Between the hours of ten and four.

  To harassed booking-office clerks
  She makes irrelevant remarks,
  And tenders, to the crowd’s despair,
  A pound-note for a penny fare,
  Or, what perhaps is even worse,
  Starts fumbling in a baggy purse.

  She’ll step aboard a Highgate train,
  Then check and double back again,
  And ask a dislocated queue
  If she is right for Waterloo.

  The liftmen, who, you recollect,
  Spoke of Adolphus with respect,
  Are pessimistic, even for them,
  About the fate of Mrs. M.

  Where Gertrude Minns will go when she
  Departs this life is not for me,
  Or you, or liftmen, to decree. 
  And, any way, we needn’t fret;
  She shows no sign of dying yet.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  FIRST AID.

Examiner. “WHAT MEASURES WOULD YOU TAKE IF YOU HAD TO TREAT A CASE OF SUNSTROKE?”

Boy Scout (who has negotiated fairly successfully a fractured jaw, broken forearm and severed femoral artery).  “I WOULD DRAG HIM INTO THE SHADE, STRIP HIM TO THE WAIST, POUR COLD WATER ON HIM AND PUT HIM INTO ISOLATION IF THERE WAS ANY ICE.”]

* * * * *

THE END OF THE SEASON.

The letters of the alphabet were talking.

“It’s been a wonderful season,” said S.  “I ’m very proud of it.”

“Yes,” said C; “I don’t suppose so much interest was ever taken in cricket before.  The number of people able to spend time at a match has been the greatest ever known.”

L agreed.  “Even on the middle days of the week,” he said, “Lord’s has been packed.”

“Lord’s, forsooth!” O struck in.  “Lord’s has been empty compared with the Oval.  The Ovalites have lost no opportunity of watching their heroes.”