The wee grotesque man and his immense white cat were not with them.  Perhaps they still live on Kemmel.  Some time I shall go and see....

If we did not play Bridge after our walks, we would look in at the theatre or stroll across to dinner and Bridge with Gibson and his brother officers of the K.O.S.B., then billeted at Locre.

Not all convents have theatres:  this was a special convent.  The Signal Company slept in the theatre, and of an evening all the kit would be moved aside.  One of the military policemen could play anything; so we danced and sang until the lights went out.  The star performer was “Spot,” the servant of an A.D.C.

“Spot” was a little man with a cheerful squint.  He knew everything that had ever been recited, and his knowledge of the more ungodly songs was immense.  He would start off with an imitation of Mr H.B.  Irving, and a very good imitation it would be—­with soft music.  He would leave the Signallers thrilled and silent.  The lights flashed up, and “Spot” darted off on some catchy doggerel of an almost talented obscenity.  In private life Spot was the best company imaginable.  He could not talk for a minute without throwing in a bit of a recitation and striking an attitude.  I have only known him serious on two subjects—­his master and Posh.  He would pour out with the keenest delight little stories of how his master endeavoured to correct his servant’s accent.  There was a famous story of “a n’orse”—­but that is untellable.

Posh may be defined, very roughly, as a useless striving after gentlemanly culture.  Sometimes a chauffeur or an H.Q. clerk would endeavour to speak very correct English in front of Spot.

“’E was poshy, my dear boy, positively poshy.  ’E made me shiver until I cried.  ‘Smith, old man,’ I said to ’im, ’you can’t do it.  You’re not born to it nor bred to it.  Those that try is just demeaning themselves.  Posh, my dear boy, pure posh.’”

And Spot would give a cruel imitation of the wretched Smith’s mincing English.  The punishment was the more bitter, because all the world knew that Spot could speak the King’s English as well as anybody if only he chose.  To the poshy alone was Spot unkind.  He was a generous, warm-hearted little man, with real wisdom and a fine appreciation of men and things....  There were other performers of the usual type, young men who sang about the love-light in her eyes, older men with crude songs, and a Scotsman with an expressionless face, who mumbled about we could never discover what.

The audience was usually strengthened by some half-witted girls that the Convent educated, and two angelic nuns.  Luckily for them, they only understood a slow and grammatical English, and listened to crude songs and sentimental songs with the same expression of maternal content.

Our work at Locre was not confined to riding and cable-laying.  The 15th Brigade and two battalions of the 13th were fighting crazily at Ypres, the 14th had come up to Dranoutre, and the remaining two battalions of the 13th were at Neuve Eglise.