handed me by a person, saying he was sorry to inform
me of the death of the child. I know not whether
this was a mistake on his part, or kindly intended
to prepare my mind for the real intelligence.
I went to my room, and opened the letter with a feeling
of gratitude and joy, that at any rate the mother
was spared. It began thus: ’My dear
Sir,—To one who has suffered so much and
with such exemplary fortitude, there needs but little
preface to tell a tale of distress. It were cruel
indeed to torture you with doubt and suspense.
To sum up the unhappy tidings in a few words—
Mrs.
Judson is no more.’ At intervals,”
continues Mr. Judson, “I got through the dreadful
letter and proceed to give you the substance, as indelibly
engraven on my heart.” After adding that
her disease was a violent fever, which baffled the
skill of the physicians and after eighteen days carried
her to the grave, he continues: “You perceive
I have no account whatever of the state of her mind
in view of death and eternity, or of her wishes concerning
her darling babe, whom she loved most intensely.
I will not trouble you, my dear mother, with an account
of my own private feelings—the bitter,
heart-rending anguish, which for some days would not
admit of mitigation, and the comfort which the Gospel
subsequently afforded, the Gospel of Jesus Christ
which brings life and immortality to light.”
After his return to Amherst, Mr. Judson writes:
“Amid the desolation that death has made, I
take up my pen to address once more the mother of
my beloved Ann. I am sitting in the house she
built—in the room where she breathed her
last—and at a window from which I see the
tree that stands at the head of her grave....
Mr. and Mrs. Wade are living in the house, having
arrived here about a month after Ann’s death,
and Mrs. W. has taken charge of my poor motherless
Maria.... When I arrived Mr. Wade met me at the
landing-place, and as I passed on to the house, one
and another of the native Christians came out, and
when they saw me they began to weep. At length
we reached the house; and I almost expected to see
my love coming out to meet me as usual, but no, I only
saw in the arms of Mrs. Wade, a poor puny child, who
could not recognize her father, and from whose infant
mind had long been erased all recollection of the
mother who loved her so much. She turned away
from me in alarm, and I, obliged to seek comfort elsewhere,
found my way to the grave, but who ever obtained comfort
there? Thence I went to the house in which I
left her; and looked at the spot where last we knelt
in prayer, and where we exchanged the parting kiss....