For almost a year the Diary lay in my desk before I could summon courage to re-read it.  After it had been hidden again for another year, I rashly promised a sick friend to send it for her to read.  Fearing, however, that she would not be able to follow all the contractions, I decided to copy it over, and it was while thus engaged that it became clear to me that it should be published.  Cui bono? is of course, the question which must be faced.  The only answer I wish to plead is that this work is a tribute to Woman’s Endurance, and that it presents in the story of that endurance, and the fortitude of the Dutch women and children, one of the nobler aspects of the late war.  And is not this plea enough?  Cannot we sometimes forget the inevitable political aspect of things and see beyond into the human?

In conclusion, this:  A diary is simply a confidential talk to one’s self of one’s self—­such is its prerogative.  While, then, sending forth into publicity this Journal in its entirety, so as not to mar its integrity, need it be suggested how hard it is occasionally to lay bare the naked soul within?

Durbanville,
Cape Colony,
September, 1903.

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Note.

As reproduced here, the Diary is substantially the same as the original, except for:—­

1.  Contractions, which are written out.

2.  Slang, for which, where it could be done, inoffensive words are substituted.

In form it is given absolutely unchanged.

I have found it necessary to add a number of notes, and to translate all the Dutch.

DIARY.

CHAP.  I.

Bethulie Concentration Camp, August, 1901.

Wednesday, August 21.—­Arrived station 8.30 a.m. (from Bloemfontein); tedious delay; no pass to village obtainable, official in village for breakfast; number of refugees in same train, among them a sick girl, with fever:  “Pappie, Pappie, ach mij ou Pappie!” ("Daddy, daddy!  O my dear daddy!” Thus she cried whenever she was touched, as they carried her out of the train, and lifted her on to the wagon.  She was fever-stricken and terribly emaciated. (Reference is made later to this same girl.) Alas!  Arrival village; visit parsonage (Becker’s); dinner; things forwarded per wagon; arrival camp (mile out); meet superintendent; given a tent; dust; misery; the Van As’s offer me a home; kind; bitter cold night; leakage; bad draught; bad cold; feel lonesome; orphanish; pipe to rescue; great consolation.

* * * * *

Thursday, August 22.—­My tent untenable position; in the thoroughfare; speak Superintendent; obtain new site; private; buy 150 bricks 1s. 6d., hire three boys, barrow 1s. 3d.; with miershoop (antheap, excellent for making floor) make brick kraal; hard work; Mr. Van As[1] and Fourie grand; fine floor.

First visits:  Young girl, orphan, bad; Weinanda, little girl, “Ja Oom, ik is nou bij mij Mamie” ("Yes, Uncle, now I am with my mother"); mind wanders.  Third tent:  Two babies wrestling with death; mothers raadeloos (in despair); 486[2], wife, babe at breast, measles; daughter, 14, convalescent; behind screen three children sick, measles; condition pitiable; husband prisoner Ladismith; great dirt; unbearable; the pity of it!