The Egoist eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 707 pages of information about The Egoist.

The Egoist eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 707 pages of information about The Egoist.

“The decision is taken, sir.”

“Then I will be out of the way of the firing.  Hit what day you please.”

Clara checked herself on an impetuous exclamation.  It was done that her father might not be detained.

Her astute self-compression sharpened Willoughby as much as it mortified and terrified him.  He understood how he would stand in an instant were Dr. Middleton absent.  Her father was the tribunal she dreaded, and affairs must be settled and made irrevocable while he was with them.  To sting the blood of the girl, he called her his darling, and half enwound her, shadowing forth a salute.

She strung her body to submit, seeing her father take it as a signal for his immediate retirement.

Willoughby was upon him before he reached the door.

“Hear us out, sir.  Do not go.  Stay, at my entreaty.  I fear we have not come to a perfect reconcilement.”

“If that is your opinion,” said Clara, “it is good reason for not distressing my father.”

“Dr Middleton, I love your daughter.  I wooed her and won her; I had your consent to our union, and I was the happiest of mankind.  In some way, since her coming to my house, I know not how—­she will not tell me, or cannot—­I offended.  One may be innocent and offend.  I have never pretended to impeccability, which is an admission that I may very naturally offend.  My appeal to her is for an explanation or for pardon.  I obtain neither.  Had our positions been reversed, oh, not for any real offence—­not for the worst that can be imagined—­I think not—­I hope not—­could I have been tempted to propose the dissolution of our engagement.  To love is to love, with me; an engagement a solemn bond.  With all my errors I have that merit of utter fidelity—­to the world laughable!  I confess to a multitude of errors; I have that single merit, and am not the more estimable in your daughter’s eyes on account of it, I fear.  In plain words, I am, I do not doubt, one of the fools among men; of the description of human dog commonly known as faithful—­whose destiny is that of a tribe.  A man who cries out when he is hurt is absurd, and I am not asking for sympathy.  Call me luckless.  But I abhor a breach of faith.  A broken pledge is hateful to me.  I should regard it myself as a form of suicide.  There are principles which civilized men must contend for.  Our social fabric is based on them.  As my word stands for me, I hold others to theirs.  If that is not done, the world is more or less a carnival of counterfeits.  In this instance—­Ah!  Clara, my love! and you have principles:  you have inherited, you have been indoctrinated with them:  have I, then, in my ignorance, offended past penitence, that you, of all women? . . .  And without being able to name my sin!—­Not only for what I lose by it, but in the abstract, judicially—­apart from the sentiment of personal interest, grief, pain, and the possibility of my having to endure that which no temptation would induce me to commit:—­judicially;—­I fear, sir, I am a poor forensic orator . . .”

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The Egoist from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.