Another evidence of lack of finish is offering gratuitous advice.  If your opinion is asked, it is kind and right that you should give it; but a safe rule to go by is that unless your advice is requested it is not wanted.  It is one of the strangest problems in human nature that one should of her own accord implicate herself in other people’s affairs and take upon herself onerous responsibility by giving her unsolicited opinion in matters which do not concern her.  It is a disagreeable task, and a very thankless one.  Viewed from this standpoint, I am hardly surprised at the price demanded by lawyers for their advice.  Perhaps the secret of their high fees may be that they decline to give a judgment unless asked for it.  Our “own familiar friends” might learn a lesson from them.

It is a pity that any well-bred intimate should so far forget herself as to correct another person’s child in the presence of the little one’s father or mother.  That this is frequently done will be certified to by hundreds of mothers who have been made irate by such untimely aids to their discipline.  Johnny’s mother tells him to stop making that noise, and her visitor adds severely, “Now, Johnny, do not make that noise any more!” Susie is saucy to her mamma, and her mamma’s friend reprovingly remarks to the little girl that she is pained and surprised to hear her speak so naughtily to her dear mamma.  Children resent this, and are far more keen and observant of these matters than their elders think.

Little four-year-old and his mamma were spending the day at grandpapa’s last week.  The family was seated on the veranda when the small man announced his intention to his mamma of going out upon the grass to pick wild flowers.  Before the mother could reply, the grandfather stated his objection: 

“No, child, the grass is too wet.  I am afraid you will get your feet damp.”

Four-year-old was equal to the occasion, as Young America generally is.

“Thank you, grandpa,” was the calm response, “but my mamma is here.  She can manage me.”

Undoubtedly he was extremely impertinent; but did not the interference of the grandparent justify the rebuke?

Every one, even the lower classes, those who are considered under-bred, know that it is an atrocious impertinence to make inquiries of one’s best friend as to the state of his finances.  But like questions in the form of “feelers” are of such frequent occurrence that a reminder of this kind is scarcely out of place.  There are few persons who deliberately ask you the amount of your income, but how often does one hear the queries: 

“How much did you pay for that horse of yours?” “Was that gown very expensive?” “Have you a mortgage on that place?” “How much is the mortgage?” “What rent do you pay?” “How much does your table cost you per week?” etc., etc., until the unfortunate being at whom this battery of inquiries is aimed feels tempted to forget his “polish” and “finish,” and retort as did the sobbing street boy when questioned by the elderly philanthropic woman as to the cause of his tears: