As the test of the genuineness of the polish must be its durability, so intimacy is the standard by which we may judge of the finish of the so-called well-bred man or woman.  If the refinement be ingrain, the familiarity which inevitably breeds contempt will never intrude itself.

To come down to everyday particulars:  One of the unwarrantable familiarities is to enter a friend’s house without ringing her door-bell,—­unless you have been especially requested to do so.  No ground of intimacy on which you and your friend may stand justifies this liberty.  The housekeepers are few and far between who, in their inmost souls, will not resent this invasion of their domain.  It argues an enormous amount of self-conceit on your part when you fancy that you are considered so entirely one of the family that your unannounced presence will never prove an unwelcome intrusion.

In country places neighbors contract the habit of “running in” to see one another.  Were the truth known, many a housekeeper, deep in pie-making and bread-kneading, would gladly give her handsomest loaf for two minutes in which to smooth her rumpled hair and change her soiled apron.

It is only in books that the heroine always looks so charming, no matter in what labor she may be engaged, that she would be glad to receive any acquaintance.  Of course our housewife’s husband may see her when she is baking, and our domestic moralist would argue that what is good enough for him is good enough for callers.  Perhaps it does not occur to her that the husband has so often found his wife dressed “neatly and sweetly” that the cooking costume will not make upon him the disagreeable impression it might produce upon a caller who sees her hostess once in this guise where the husband has hundreds of opportunities of beholding her in company clothes.

It may be remarked in this connection that the persons who are guilty of lapses like that of entering your front door unannounced are of the same class as those who enter your bed-chamber or sanctum without knocking.  This is a rudeness which nothing warrants.  There are times when we wish to be alone in our own rooms, and when we want to feel that we are safe from sudden interruption during the processes of bathing and dressing, even if the door of our apartment is not locked.  One’s own room should be so completely her own that her nearest and dearest will not feel at liberty to enter without permission.  Of course it is frequently the case that two persons, sisters, or husband and wife, or mother and daughter, occupy the same chamber.  When this is the case, it is theirs wholly and completely, and they are right to insist that other members of the household shall knock before entering.