of the tying up and labelling of blacking pots.
At first Charles, in consideration probably of his
relationship to the manager, was allowed to do his
tying, clipping, and pasting in the counting-house.
But soon this arrangement fell through, as it naturally
would, and he descended to the companionship of the
other lads, similarly employed, in the warehouse below.
They were not bad boys, and one of them, who bore
the name of Bob Fagin, was very kind to the poor little
better-nurtured outcast, once, in a sudden attack
of illness, applying hot blacking-bottles to his side
with much tenderness. But, of course, they were
rough and quite uncultured, and the sensitive, bookish,
imaginative child felt that there was something uncongenial
and degrading in being compelled to associate with
them. Nor, though he had already sufficient strength
of character to learn to do his work well, did he
ever regard the work itself as anything but unsuitable,
and almost discreditable. Indeed it may be doubted
whether the iron of that time did not unduly rankle
and fester as it entered into his soul, and whether
the scar caused by the wound was altogether quite
honourable. He seems to have felt, in connection
with his early employment in a warehouse, a sense of
shame such as would be more fittingly associated with
the commission of an unworthy act. That he should
not have habitually referred to the subject in after
life, may readily be understood. But why he should
have kept unbroken silence about it for long years,
even with his wife, even with so very close a friend
as Forster, is less clear. And in the terms used,
when the revelation was finally made to Forster, there
has always, I confess, appeared to me to be a tone
of exaggeration. “My whole nature,”
he says, “was so penetrated with grief and humiliation,
... that even now, famous and caressed and happy, I
often forget in my dreams that I have a dear wife
and children; even that I am a man, and wander desolately
back to that time of my life.” And again:
“From that hour until this, at which I write,
no word of that part of my childhood, which I have
now gladly brought to a close, has passed my lips
to any human being.... I have never, until I now
impart it to this paper, in any burst of confidence
with any one, my own wife not excepted, raised the
curtain I then dropped, thank God.” Great
part, perhaps the greatest part, of Dickens’
success as a writer, came from the sympathy and power
with which he showed how the lower walks of life no
less than the higher are often fringed with beauty.
I have never been able to entirely divest myself of
a slight feeling of the incongruous in reading what
he wrote about the warehouse episode in his career.