Never! though my mortal summers to such length of
years should come
As the many-wintered crow that leads the clanging
rookery home.
Where is comfort? in division of the records of the
mind?
Can I part her from herself, and love her, as I knew
her, kind?
I remember one that perished; sweetly did she speak
and move;
Such a one do I remember, whom to look at was to love.
Can I think of her as dead, and love her for the love
she bore?
No,—she never loved me truly; love is love
forevermore.
Comfort? comfort scorned of devils; this is truth
the poet sings,
That a sorrow’s crown of sorrow is remembering
happier things.
Drug thy memories, lest thou learn it, lest thy heart
be put to proof,
In the dead, unhappy night, and when the rain is on
the roof.
Like a dog, he hunts in dreams; and thou art staring
at the wall,
Where the dying night-lamp flickers, and the shadows
rise and fall.
Then a hand shall pass before thee, pointing to his
drunken sleep,
To thy widowed marriage-pillows, to the tears that
thou wilt weep.
Thou shalt hear the “Never, never,” whispered
by the phantom years,
And a song from out the distance in the ringing of
thine ears;
And an eye shall vex thee, looking ancient kindness
on thy pain.
Turn thee, turn thee on thy pillow; get thee to thy
rest again.
Nay, but nature brings thee solace; for a tender voice
will cry;
’Tis a purer life than thine, a lip to drain
thy trouble dry.
Baby lips will laugh me down; my latest rival brings
thee rest,—
Baby fingers, waxen touches, press me from the mother’s
breast.
O, the child too clothes the father with a dearness
not his due.
Half is thine and half is his: it will be worthy
of the two.
O, I see thee old and formal, fitted to thy petty
part,
With a little hoard of maxims preaching down a daughter’s
heart.
“They were dangerous guides, the feelings—she
herself was not exempt—
Truly, she herself had suffered”—Perish
in thy self-contempt!
Overlive it—lower yet—be happy!
wherefore should I care?
I myself must mix with action, lest I wither by despair.
What is that which I should turn to, lighting upon
days like these?
Every door is barred with gold, and opens but to golden
keys.
Every gate is thronged with suitors, all the markets
overflow.
I have but an angry fancy: what is that which
I should do?
I had been content to perish, falling on the foeman’s
ground,
When the ranks are rolled in vapor, and the winds
are laid with sound.
But the jingling of the guinea helps the hurt that
honor feels,
And the nations do but murmur, snarling at each other’s
heels.
Can I but relive in sadness? I will turn that
earlier page.
Hide me from my deep emotion, O thou wondrous mother-age!