I have noticed that it is the holiest nuns who are most deeply loved; everyone is anxious to seek their company, and do them service, without even being asked.  These very souls who are well able to bear with want of affection and little attentions are always surrounded by an atmosphere of love.  Our Father, St. John of the Cross, says with great truth:  “All good things have come unto me, since I no longer sought them for myself.”

Imperfect souls, on the contrary, are left alone.  They are treated, it is true, with the measure of politeness which religious life demands; yet their company is avoided, lest a word might be said which would hurt their feelings.  When I say imperfect souls, I am not referring to souls with spiritual imperfections only, for the holiest souls will not be perfect till they are in heaven.  I mean those who are also afflicted with want of tact and refinement, as well as ultra-sensitive souls.  I know such defects are incurable, but I also know how patient you would be, in nursing and striving to relieve me, were my illness to last for many years.

From all this I draw the conclusion:—­I ought to seek the companionship of those Sisters towards whom I feel a natural aversion, and try to be their good Samaritan.  A word or a smile is often enough to put fresh life in a despondent soul.  And yet it is not merely in the hope of giving consolation that I try to be kind.  If it were, I know that I should soon be discouraged, for well-intentioned words are often totally misunderstood.  Consequently, not to lose my time or labour, I try to act solely to please Our Lord, and follow this precept of the Gospel:  “When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends or thy brethren, lest perhaps they also invite thee again and a recompense be made to thee.  But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the blind, and the lame, and thou shalt be blessed, because they have naught wherewith to make thee recompense, and thy Father Who seeth in secret will repay thee."[9]

What feast can I offer my Sisters but a spiritual one of sweet and joyful charity!  I know none other, and I wish to imitate St. Paul, who rejoiced with those who rejoiced.  It is true that he wept with those who wept, and at my feast, too, the tears must sometimes fall, still I shall always try to change them into smiles, for “God loveth a cheerful giver."[10]

I remember an act of charity with which God inspired me while I was still a novice, and this act, though seemingly small, has been rewarded even in this life by Our Heavenly Father, “Who seeth in secret.”