I did not rest satisfied with praying for this Sister, who gave me such occasions for self-mastery, I tried to render her as many services as I could, and when tempted to answer her sharply, I made haste to smile and change the subject, for the Imitation says:  “It is more profitable to leave everyone to his way of thinking than to give way to contentious discourses.”  And sometimes when the temptation was very severe, I would run like a deserter from the battlefield if I could do so without letting the Sister guess my inward struggle.

One day she said to me with a beaming face:  “My dear Soeur Therese, tell me what attraction you find in me, for whenever we meet, you greet me with such a sweet smile.”  Ah!  What attracted me was Jesus hidden in the depths of her soul—­Jesus who maketh sweet even that which is most bitter.

I spoke just now, dear Mother, of the flight that is my last resource to escape defeat.  It is not honourable, I confess, but during my noviciate, whenever I had recourse to this means, it invariably succeeded.  I will give you a striking example, which will, I am sure, amuse you.  You had been ill with bronchitis for several days, and we were all uneasy about you.  One morning, in my duty as sacristan, I came to put back the keys of the Communion-grating.  This was my work, and I was very pleased to have an opportunity of seeing you, though I took good care not to show it.  One of the Sisters, full of solicitude, feared I should awake you, and tried to take the keys from me.  I told her as politely as I could, that I was quite as anxious as she was there should be no noise, and added that it was my right to return them.  I see now that it would have been more perfect simply to yield, but I did not see it then, and so I followed her into the room.  Very soon what she feared came to pass:  the noise did awaken you.  All the blame fell upon me; the Sister I had argued with began a long discourse, of which the point was:  Soeur Therese made all the noise.  I was burning to defend myself, but a happy inspiration of grace came to me.  I thought that if I began to justify myself I should certainly lose my peace of mind, and as I had too little virtue to let myself be unjustly accused without answering, my last chance of safety lay in flight.  No sooner thought than done.  I hurried away, but my heart beat so violently, I could not go far, and I was obliged to sit down on the stairs to enjoy in quiet the fruit of my victory.  This is an odd kind of courage, undoubtedly, but I think it is best not to expose oneself in the face of certain defeat.

When I recall these days of my noviciate I understand how far I was from perfection, and the memory of certain things makes me laugh.  How good God has been, to have trained my soul and given it wings All the snares of the hunter can no longer frighten me, for “A net is spread in vain before the eyes of them that have wings."[32]