Yes, I know when I show charity to others, it is simply Jesus acting in me, and the more closely I am united to Him, the more dearly I love my Sisters.  If I wish to increase this love in my heart, and the devil tries to bring before me the defects of a Sister, I hasten to look for her virtues, her good motives; I call to mind that though I may have seen her fall once, no doubt she has gained many victories over herself, which in her humility she conceals.  It is even possible that what seems to me a fault, may very likely, on account of her good intention, be an act of virtue.  I have no difficulty in persuading myself of this, because I have had the same experience.  One day, during recreation, the portress came to ask for a Sister to help her.  I had a childish longing to do this work, and it happened the choice fell upon me.  I therefore began to fold up our needlework, but so slowly that my neighbour, who I knew would like to take my place, was ready before me.  The Sister who had asked for help, seeing how deliberate I was, said laughingly:  “I thought you would not add this pearl to your crown, you are so extremely slow,” and all the Community thought I had yielded to natural reluctance.  I cannot tell you what profit I derived from this incident, and it made me indulgent towards others.  It still checks any feelings of vanity, when I am praised, for I reflect that since my small acts of virtue can be mistaken for imperfections, why should not my imperfections be mistaken for virtue?  And I say with St. Paul:  “To me it is a very small thing to be judged by you, or by man’s day.  But neither do I judge myself.  He that judgeth me is the Lord."[22]

And it is the Lord, it is Jesus, Who is my judge.  Therefore I will try always to think leniently of others, that He may judge me leniently, or rather not at all, since He says:  “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged."[23]

But returning to the Holy Gospel where Our Lord explains to me clearly in what His New Commandment consists, I read in St. Matthew:  “You have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thy enemy:  but I say unto you, Love your enemies, and pray for them that persecute you."[24]

There are, of course, no enemies in the Carmel; but, after all, we have our natural likes and dislikes.  We may feel drawn towards one Sister, and may be tempted to go a long way round to avoid meeting another.  Well, Our Lord tells me that this is the Sister to love and pray for, even though her behaviour may make me imagine she does not care for me.  “If you love them that love you, what thanks are to you?  For sinners also love those that love them."[25] And it is not enough to love, we must prove our love; naturally one likes to please a friend, but that is not charity, for sinners do the same.