I am very sorry for souls who lose themselves in this way.  It is so easy to go astray in the seductive paths of the world.  Without doubt, for a soul somewhat advanced in virtue, the sweetness offered by the world is mingled with bitterness, and the immense void of its desires cannot be filled by the flattery of a moment; but I repeat, if my heart had not been lifted up towards God from the first moment of consciousness, if the world had smiled on me from the beginning of my life, what should I have become?  Dearest Mother, with what a grateful heart do I sing “the Mercies of the Lord!” Has He not, according to the words of Holy Wisdom, “taken me away from the world lest wickedness should alter my understanding, or deceit beguile my soul?"[11]

Meanwhile I resolved to consecrate myself in a special way to Our Blessed Lady, and I begged to be enrolled among the Children of Mary.[12] To gain this favour I had to go twice a week to the Convent, and I must confess this cost me something, I was so shy.  There was no question of the affection I felt towards my mistresses, but, as I said before, I had no special friend among them, with whom I could have spent many hours like other old pupils.  So I worked in silence till the end of the lesson, and then, as no one took any notice of me, I went to the tribune in the Chapel till Papa came to fetch me home.  Here, during this silent visit, I found my one consolation—­for was not Jesus my only Friend?  To Him alone could I open my heart; all conversation with creatures, even on holy subjects, wearied me.  It is true that in these periods of loneliness I sometimes felt sad, and I used often to console myself by repeating this line of a beautiful poem Papa had taught me:  “Time is thy barque, and not thy dwelling-place.”

Young as I was, these words restored my courage, and even now, in spite of having outgrown many pious impressions of childhood, the symbol of a ship always delights me and helps me to bear the exile of this life.  Does not the Wise Man tell us—­“Life is like a ship that passeth through the waves:  when it is gone by, the trace thereof cannot be found"?[13]

When my thoughts run on in this way, my soul loses itself as it were in the infinite; I seem already to touch the Heavenly Shore and to receive Our Lord’s embrace.  I fancy I can see Our Blessed Lady coming to meet me, with my Father and Mother, my little brothers and sisters; and I picture myself enjoying true family joys for all eternity.

But before reaching Our Father’s Home in Heaven, I had to go through many partings on this earth.  The year in which I was made a Child of Mary, Our Lady took from me my sister Marie, the only support of my soul,[14] my oracle and inseparable companion since the departure of Pauline.  As soon as I knew of her decision, I made up my mind to take no further pleasure in anything here below.  I could not tell you how many tears I shed.  But at this time I was much given to crying, not only over big