As I grew older my love of God grew more and more.  I often offered my heart to Him, using the words my Mother had taught me, and I tried very hard to please Him in all my actions, taking great care never to offend Him.  And yet one day I committed a fault which I must tell you here—­it gives me a good opportunity of humbling myself, though I believe I have grieved over it with perfect contrition.

It was the month of May, 1878.  My sisters decided that I was too small to go to the May devotions every evening, so I stayed at home with the nurse and said my prayers with her before the little altar which I had arranged according to my own taste.  Everything was small—­candlesticks, vases, and the rest; two wax vestas were quite sufficient to light it up properly.  Sometimes Victoire, the maid, gave me some little bits of real candle, but not often.

One evening, when we went to our prayers, I said to her:  “Will you begin the Memorare? I am going to light the candles.”  She tried to begin, and then looked at me and burst out laughing.  Seeing my precious vestas burning quickly away, I begged her once more to say the Memorare. Again there was silence, broken only by bursts of laughter.  All my natural good temper deserted me.  I got up feeling dreadfully angry, and, stamping my foot furiously, I cried out:  “Victoire, you naughty girl!” She stopped laughing at once, and looked at me in utter astonishment, then showed me—­too late—­the surprise she had in store hidden under her apron—­two pieces of candle.  My tears of anger were soon changed into tears of sorrow; I was very much ashamed and grieved, and made a firm resolution never to act in such a way again.

Shortly after this I made my first confession.[3] It is a very sweet memory.  Pauline had warned me:  “Therese, darling, it is not to a man but to God Himself that you are going to tell your sins.”  I was so persuaded of this that I asked her quite seriously if I should not tell Father Ducellier that I loved him “with my whole heart,” as it was really God I was going to speak to in his person.

Well instructed as to what I was to do, I entered the confessional, and turning round to the priest, so as to see him better, I made my confession and received absolution in a spirit of lively faith—­my sister having assured me that at this solemn moment the tears of the Holy Child Jesus would purify my soul.  I remember well that he exhorted me above all to a tender devotion towards Our Lady, and I promised to redouble my love for her who already filled so large a place in my heart.  Then I passed him my Rosary to be blessed, and came out of the Confessional more joyful and lighthearted than I had ever felt before.  It was evening, and as soon as I got to a street lamp I stopped and took the newly blessed Rosary out of my pocket, turning it over and over.  “What are you looking at, Therese, dear?” asked Pauline.  “I am seeing what a blessed Rosary looks like.”