My Spouse speaks not a word, and I say nothing save that I love Him more than myself; and in the depths of my heart I know this is true, for I am more His than mine.  I cannot see that we are advancing toward our journey’s goal since we travel by a subterranean way; and yet, without knowing how, it seems to me that we are nearing the summit of the Mountain.

I give thanks to my Jesus for making me walk in darkness, and in this darkness I enjoy profound peace.  Willingly do I consent to remain through all my religious life in this gloomy passage into which He has led me.  I desire only that my darkness may obtain light for sinners.  I am content, nay, full of joy, to be without all consolation.  I should be ashamed if my love were like that of those earthly brides who are ever looking for gifts from their bridegrooms, or seeking to catch the loving smile which fills them with delight.

Therese, the little Spouse of Jesus, loves Him for Himself; she only looks on the Face of her Beloved to catch a glimpse of the Tears which delight her with their secret charm.  She longs to wipe away those Tears, or to gather them up like priceless diamonds with which to adorn her bridal dress. Jesus! . . . Oh!  I would so love Him!  Love Him as He has never yet been loved! . . .

At all cost I must win the palm of St. Agnes; if it cannot be mine through blood, I must win it by Love.

V

1891.

Love can take the place of a long life.  Jesus does not consider time, for He is Eternal.  He only looks at the love.  My little Mother, beg Him to bestow it upon me in full measure.  I do not desire that thrill of love which I can feel; if Jesus feel its thrill, then that is enough for me.  It is so sweet to love Him, to make Him loved.  Ask Him to take me to Him on my profession-day, if by living on I should ever offend Him, because I wish to bear unsullied to Heaven the white robe of my second Baptism.[1] Now Jesus can grant me the grace never to offend Him more, or rather never to commit any faults but those which do not offend Him or give Him pain; faults which serve but to humble me and strengthen my love.  There is no one to lean on apart from Jesus.  He alone faileth not, and it is exceeding joy to think that He can never change.

VI

1891.

MY DEAREST LITTLE MOTHER,—­Your letter has done me such good.  The sentence:  “Let us refrain from saying a word which could raise us in the eyes of others,” has indeed enlightened my soul.  Yes, we must keep all for Jesus with jealous care.  It is so good to work for Him alone.  How it fills the heart with joy, and lends wings to the soul!  Ask of Jesus that Therese—­His grain of sand—­may save Him a multitude of souls in a short space of time, so that she may the sooner behold His Adorable Face.

VII