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Being somewhat of a child in my ways, the Holy Child—­to help me in the practice of virtue—­inspired me with the thought of amusing myself with Him, and I chose the game of ninepins. I imagined them of all sizes and colours, representing the souls I wished to reach.  The ball was—­ love.

In December, 1896, the novices received, for the benefit of the Foreign Missions, various trifles towards a Christmas tree, and at the bottom of the box containing them was a top—­a rare thing in a Carmelite convent.  My companions remarked:  “What an ugly thing!—­of what use will it be?” But I, who knew the game, caught hold of it, exclaiming:  “Nay, what fun! it will spin a whole day without stopping if it be well whipped”; and thereupon I spun it around to their great surprise.

Soeur Therese was quietly watching us, and on Christmas night, after midnight Mass, I found in our cell the famous top, with a delightful letter addressed as follows: 

To My Beloved Little Spouse

Player of Ninepins on the Mountain of Carmel

Christmas Night, 1896.

MY BELOVED LITTLE SPOUSE,—­I am well pleased with thee!  All the year round thou hast amused Me by playing at ninepins. I was so overjoyed that the whole court of Angels was surprised and charmed.  Several little cherubs have asked me why I did not make them children.  Others wanted to know if the melody of their instruments were not more pleasing to me than thy joyous laugh when a ninepin fell at the stroke of thy love-ball.  My answer to them was, that they must not regret they are not children, since one day they would play with thee in the meadows of Heaven.  I told them also that thy smiles were certainly more sweet to Me than their harmonies, because these smiles were purchased by suffering and forgetfulness of self.

And now, my cherished Spouse, it is my turn to ask something of thee.  Thou wilt not refuse Me—­thou lovest Me too much.  Let us change the game.  Ninepins amuse me greatly, but at present I should like to play at spinning a top, and, if thou dost consent, thou shalt be the top.  I give thee one as a model.  Thou seest that it is ugly to look at, and would be kicked aside by whosoever did not know the game.  But at the sight of it a child would leap for joy and shout:  “What fun! it will spin a whole day without stopping!”

Although thou too art not attractive, I—­the little Jesus—­love thee, and beg of thee to keep always spinning to amuse Me.  True, it needs a whip to make a top spin.  Then let thy Sisters supply the whip, and be thou most grateful to those who shall make thee turn fastest.  When I shall have had plenty of fun, I will bring thee to join Me here, and our games shall be full of unalloyed delight.—­Thy little Brother,

JESUS.

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I had the habit of constantly crying about the merest trifles, and this was a source of great pain to Soeur Therese.  One day a bright idea occurred to her:  taking a mussel-shell from her painting table, and, holding my hands lest I should prevent her, she gathered my tears in the shell, and soon they were turned into merry laughter.