* * * * * *
To help me accept a humiliation she confided to me what follows:
“If I had not been received into the Carmel, I would have entered a Refuge, and lived there unknown and despised among the poor ‘penitents.’ My joy would have been to pass for one, and I would have become an apostle among my companions, telling them my thoughts on the Infinite Mercy of God.”
“But how could you have hidden your innocence from your Confessor?”
“I would have told him that while still in the world I made a general confession, and that it was forbidden me to repeat it.”
* * * * * *
“Oh! When I think of all I have to acquire!”
“Or rather to lose! It is Jesus Who takes upon Himself to fill your soul according as you rid it of imperfections. I see clearly that you are mistaking the road, and that you will never arrive at the end of your journey. You want to climb the mountain, whereas God wishes you to descend it. He is awaiting you in the fruitful valley of humility.”
* * * * * *
“To me it seems that humility is truth. I do not know whether I am humble, but I do know that I see the truth in all things.”
* * * * * *
“Indeed you are a Saint!”
“No, I am not a Saint. I have never wrought the works of a Saint. I am but a tiny soul whom Almighty God has loaded with His favours.
“The truth of what I say will be made known to you in Heaven.”
“But have you not always been faithful to those favours?”
“Yes, from the age of three I have never refused our Good God anything. Still I cannot glorify myself. See how this evening the tree-tops are gilded by the setting sun. So likewise my soul appears to you all shining and golden because it is exposed to the rays of Love. But should the Divine Sun no longer shine thereon, it would instantly be sunk in gloom.”
“We too would like to become all golden—what must we do?”
“You must practise the little virtues. This is sometimes difficult, but God never refuses the first grace—courage for self-conquest; and if the soul correspond to that grace, she at once finds herself in God’s sunlight. The praise given to Judith has always struck me: ’Thou hast done manfully, and thy heart has been strengthened.’[4] In the onset we must act with courage. By this means the heart gains strength, and victory follows victory.”
* * * * * *
In conformity with the Rule, Soeur Therese never raised her eyes in the refectory, and, as I found great difficulty in this observance, she composed for me the following prayer. It reveals her exceeding humility, because in it she asked a grace of which I alone stood in need: