On another occasion someone remarked:  “It is said that you have never suffered much.”  Smiling, she pointed to a glass containing medicine of a bright red colour.  “You see this little glass?” she said.  “One would suppose that it contained a most delicious draught, whereas, in reality, it is more bitter than anything else I take.  It is the image of my life.  To others it has been all rose colour; they have thought that I continually drank of a most delicious wine; yet to me it has been full of bitterness.  I say bitterness, and yet my life has not been a bitter one, for I have learned to find my joy and sweetness in all that is bitter.”

“You are suffering very much just now, are you not?” “Yes, but then I have so longed to suffer.”  “How it distresses us to see you in such pain, and to think that it may increase!” said her novices.

“Oh!  Do not grieve about me.  I have reached a point where I can no longer suffer, because all suffering is become so sweet.  Besides, it is quite a mistake to trouble yourselves as to what I may still have to undergo.  It is like meddling with God’s work.  We who run in the way of Love must never allow ourselves to be disturbed by anything.  If I did not simply live from one moment to another, it would be impossible for me to be patient; but I only look at the present, I forget the past, and I take good care not to forestall the future.  When we yield to discouragement or despair, it is usually because we think too much about the past and the future.  But pray much for me, for it is often just when I cry to Heaven for help that I feel most abandoned.”

“How do you manage not to give way to discouragement at such times?” “I turn to God and all His Saints, and thank them notwithstanding; I believe they want to see how far my trust may extend.  But the words of Job have not entered my heart in vain:  ’Even if God should kill me, I would still trust in Him.’[6] I own it has taken a long time to arrive at this degree of self-abandonment; but I have reached it now, and it is the Lord Himself Who has brought me there.”

Another time she said:  “Our Lord’s Will fills my heart to the brim, and hence, if aught else is added, it cannot penetrate to any depth, but, like oil on the surface of limpid waters, glides easily across.  If my heart were not already brimming over, and must needs be filled by the feelings of joy and sadness that alternate so rapidly, then indeed would it be flooded by a wave of bitter pain; but these quick-succeeding changes scarcely ruffle the surface of my soul, and in its depths there reigns a peace that nothing can disturb.”

And yet her soul was enveloped in thick darkness, and her temptations against Faith, ever conquered but ever returning, were there to rob her of all feeling of happiness at the thought of her approaching death.  “Were it not for this trial, which is impossible to understand,” she would say, “I think I should die of joy at the prospect of soon leaving this earth.”