She grasped one of the thin columns of the bed and her attitude bespoke the revulsion of feeling that was passing in her soul; beneath the heavy curtains she stood pale all over, thrown by the shock of too coarse a reality.  His perception of her innocence was a goad to his appetite, and his despair augmented at losing her.  Now, as died the fulgurant rage that had supported her, and her normal strength being exhausted, a sudden weakness intervened, and she couldn’t but allow Mike to lead her to a seat.

“I am sorry; words cannot tell you how sorry I am.  Why do you tremble so?  You are not going to faint, say—­drink something.”  Hastily he poured out some wine and held it to her lips.  “I never was sorry before; now I know what sorrow is—­I am sorry, Lily.  I am not ashamed of my tears; look at them, and strive to understand.  I never loved till I saw you.  Ah! that lily face, when I saw it beneath the white veil, love leaped into my soul.  Then I hated religion, and I longed to scale the sky to dispossess Heaven of that which I held the one sacred and desirable thing—­you!  My soul!  I would have given it to burn for ten thousand years for one kiss, one touch of these snow-coloured hands.  When I saw, or thought I saw, that you loved me, I was God.  I said on reading your sweet letter, ’My life shall not pass without kissing at least once the lips of my chimera.’”

Words and images rose in his mind without sensation or effort, and experiencing the giddiness and exultation of the orator, he strove to win her with eloquence.  And all his magnetism was in his hands and eyes—­deep blue eyes full of fire and light were fixed upon her—­hands, soft yet powerful hands held hers, sometimes were clenched on hers, and a voice which seemed his soul rose and fell, striving to sting her with passionate sound; but she remained absorbed in, and could not be drawn out of, angry thought.

“Now you are with me,” he said, “nearly mine; here I see you like a picture that is mine.  Around us is mighty London.  I saved you from God, am I to lose you to Man?  This was the prospect that faced me, that faces me, that drove me mad.  All I did was to attempt to make you mine.  I hold you by so little—­I could not bear the thought that you might pass from me.  A ship sails away, growing indistinct, and then disappears in the shadows; in London a cab rattles, appears and disappears behind other cabs, turns a corner, and is lost for ever.  I failed, but had I succeeded you would have come back to me; I failed, is not that punishment enough?  You will go from me; I shall not get you—­that is sorrow enough for me; do not refuse me forgiveness.  Ah! if you knew what it is to have sought love passionately, the high hopes entertained, and then the depth of every deception, and now the supreme grief of finding love and losing.  Seeing love leave me without leaving one flying feather for token, I strove to pluck one—­that is my crime.  Go, since you must go, but do not go unforgiving, lest perhaps you might regret.”