MAUD. [Pausing by table.] Not a soul saw me.  I wonder where everybody is.  And that big brother of mine said I could not get in. [She reads back of card.] “Here is my card, Maudie.  If you can use it, go ahead.  But you will never get inside the door.  I consider my bet as good as won.” [Looking up, triumphantly.] You do, do you?  Oh, if you could see your little sister now.  Here she is, inside. [Pauses, and looks about.] So this is the West Bay Athletic Club.  No women allowed.  Well, here I am, if I don’t look like one. [Stretches out one leg and then the other, and looks at them.  Leaving card and parcel on table, she struts around like a man, looks at pictures of pugilists on walls, reading aloud their names and making appropriate remarks.  But she stops before the portrait of Fitzsimmons and reads aloud.] “Robert Fitzsimmons, the greatest warrior of them all.” [Clasps hands, and looking up at portrait murmurs.] Oh, you dear!

[Continues strutting around, imitating what she considers are a man’s stride and swagger, returns to table and proceeds to unwrap parcel.] Well, I’ll go out like a girl, if I did come in like a man. [Drops wrapping paper on table and holds up a woman’s long automobile cloak and a motor bonnet.  Is suddenly startled by sound of approaching footsteps and glances in a frightened way toward door.] Mercy!  Here comes somebody now! [Glances about her in alarm, drops cloak and bonnet on floor close to table, seizes a handful of newspapers, and runs to large leather chair to right of table, where she seats herself hurriedly.  One paper she holds up before her, hiding her face as she pretends to read.  Unfortunately the paper is upside down.  The other papers lie on her lap.]

[Enter ROBERT FITZSIMMONS.]

[He looks about, advances to table, takes out cigarette case and is about to select one, when he notices motor cloak and bonnet on floor.  He lays cigarette case on table and picks them up.  They strike him as profoundly curious things to be in a club room.  He looks at MAUD, then sees card on table.  He picks it up and reach it to himself, then looks at her with comprehension.  Hidden by her newspaper, she sees nothing.  He looks at card again and reads and speaks in an aside.]

FITZSIMMONS.  “Maudie.  John H. Sylvester.”  That must be Jack Sylvester’s sister Maud. [FITZSIMMONS shows by his expression that he is going to play a joke.  Tossing cloak and bonnet under the table he places card in his vest pocket, selects a chair, sits down, and looks at MAUD.  He notes paper is upside down, is hugely tickled, and laughs silently.] Hello! [Newspaper is agitated by slight tremor.  He speaks more loudly.] Hello! [Newspaper shakes badly.  He speaks very loudly.] Hello!

MAUD. [Peeping at him over top of paper and speaking hesitatingly.] H-h-hello!

FITZSIMMONS. [Gruffly.] You are a queer one, reading a paper upside down.