“It’s for you,” she said, presenting it with a motley-coloured hand; “it’s for you to take to London town and not to drop it.”

I was careful to do as I was told, because I have a friend who paints Expressionist pictures, and I wished to deliver it at his studio.  It seems to me that Priscilla, half-unconsciously perhaps, is founding a new school of art which demands serious study.  One might call it, I think, the Pookin School.

EVOE.

* * * * *

WHEN CHARL.  COMES OVER.

It is said that Mr. CHARLES CHAPLIN, a prominent citizen of Los Angeles, Cal., has employed the greater part of the last few days in mopping his brow, sighing with relief and exclaiming “Gee!”

Mr. CHAPLIN declares that missing the boat for England recently was the narrowest escape from death he has ever enjoyed.  But for having been thus providentially prevented from visiting his native land in the company of Miss MARY PICKFORD and Mr. DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS (better known as “MARY” and “DOUG.” respectively) he would have come back to the dear homeland all unprepared for what would surely have happened to him no less than it happened to his illustrious colleagues in the film world.

Since his promised visit to our shores cannot long be delayed, he has already begun elaborate preparations for travelling in safety.  He is growing a large beard and is learning to walk with his toes turned in.  A number of his teeth will be blackened out during the whole of his European tour, and his hair will be kept well-ironed and cropped short.

He has engaged a complete staff of plain-clothes pugilists to travel with him everywhere and to stand on guard outside his bathroom door.  They will also surround him during meal-times to prevent admirers from grabbing his food to hand down to their children as heirlooms.

He is being measured for a complete outfit of holeproof clothing, and his motor will be a Ford of seventeen thicknesses, with armoured steel windows, and fitted with first-aid accessories, including liniment, restoratives and raw steak.  His entourage will include a day doctor, a night doctor, a leading New York surgeon and a squad of stretcher-bearers.

It has been suggested to him that a further precaution would be not to advise the Press of the date of his arrival; but that he considers would be carrying his safety-first measures to a foolish extreme.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  STOP-PRESS NEWS.

Observant Visitor. “I SAY—­EXCUSE ME, BUT YOUR HAT IS KNOCKED IN.”

Farm Hand. “WHOI, I’VE KNOWED THAT FOR THE LAST SEVEN YEAR.”]

* * * * *

A TRAGEDY OF REACTION.

  It was a super-poet of the neo-Georgian kind
  Whose fantasies transcended the simple bourgeois mind,
  And by their frank transgression of all the ancient rules
  Were not exactly suited for use in infant schools.