* * *

Baby tortoises are being sold for two-pence-halfpenny each in Kentish Town, says a news item.  One bricklayer declared that he wouldn’t know what to do for exercise without his to lead about.

* * *

An extraordinary report reaches us from a village in Essex.  It appears that in spite of the proximity of several letter-boxes, a water-pump and a German machine-gun, a robin has deliberately built its nest in a local hedgerow.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  I.O.U.

GERMAN DELEGATE (at Spa Conference).  “WE HAVE NO MONEY; BUT, TO PROVE THAT WE ARE ANXIOUS TO PAY YOU BACK, LET ME PRESENT YOU WITH OUR BERNHARDI’S NEW BOOK ON THE NEXT WAR.”]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, June 28th.—­Less than thirty years ago the prophets of ill foresaw ruin for the British shipping trade if the dock labourers got their “tanner.”  The “tanner” has now become a florin, and this afternoon the Peers passed without a dissentient voice the Second Reading of a Bill to enable Port and Harbour authorities to pay it.

They were much more critical over the Increase of Rent Bill, and at the instance of Lord MIDLETON defeated by a two to one majority the Government’s proposal to deprive landlords of the power to evict strikers in order to provide accommodation for men willing to work.  But the Government got a little of their own back on the clause authorising an increase of rent on business premises by forty per cent.  Lord SALISBURY wanted seventy-five per cent. and haughtily refused Lord ASTOR’S sporting offer of fifty, but on a division he was beaten by 25 to 23.

In the Commons Sir FREDERICK HALL complained that slate and slack were still being supplied to London consumers under the guise and at the price of coal.  What was the Government going to do about it?  Mr. BRIDGEMAN replied that control having been removed the Government could do nothing, and consumers must find their own remedy—­a reply which drove Sir FREDERICK into such paroxysms of indignation that the SPEAKER was obliged to intervene.

Mr. KILEY’S gloomy vaticinations as to the disastrous effect of the Plumage Bill on British commerce met with no encouragement from Sir ROBERT HORNE.  In his opinion, I gather, our foreign trade is quite safe, and the Bill will not knock a feather out of it.

To Viscount CURZON’S inquiry whether the Allies were going to proceed with the trial of the EX-KAISER the PRIME MINISTER at first replied that he had “nothing to add.”  On being twitted with his election-pledge he added a good deal.  When he gave that pledge, it seems, he did not contemplate the possibility that Holland would refuse to surrender her guest, and he had no intention of using force to compel her.  WILLIAM HOHENZOLLERN, he considered, was not worth any more bloodshed.  In that case the Government would save a good deal of Parliamentary time if they were definitely to write him off with their other bad debts.