“Mayhap, young feller,” he replied, “mayhap.  I ain’t no deep sea dictionary diver, I ain’t, but all this has got nothing to do with what I was about to tell you.  It all happened after this manner, neither no more nor no less.”

He cleared his throat and gazed with undisguised hostility across the parade ground.  Thus he began: 

“It was during the summer of 1888, some thirty odd years ago,” quoth he.  “I was a bit young then, but never such a whey face as you, certainly not.”

“Positively,” said I, in hearty agreement.

“At that time,” he continued, not noticing my remark, “I was resting easy on a soft job between cruises as night watchman on one of them P.O. docks at Dover.  The work warn’t hard, but it was hard enough.  I would never have taken it had it not been for the unpleasant fact that owing to some little trouble I had gotten into at one of the pubs my wife was in one of her nasty, brow-beating moods.  At these times the solitude and the stars together with the grateful companionship of a couple of buckets of beer was greatly to be preferred to my little old home.  So I took the job and accordingly spent my nights sitting with my back to a pile, my legs comfortably stretched out along the rim of the dock and a bucket of beer within easy reach.”

“Could anything be fairer than that?” said I.

“Nothing,” said he, and continued.  “Well, one night as I was sitting there looking down in the water as a man does when his mind is empty and his body well disposed, I found myself gazing down into two glowing pools that weren’t the reflections of stars.  Above these two flecks of light was perched a battered old leghorn hat after the style affected in the music halls of those days.  Floating out back of this hat on the water was a long wavery coil of filmy hair, the face was shaded, but two long slim arms were thrust out of the water toward me, and following these arms down a bit I was shocked and surprised to find that further than the hat the young lady below me was apparently innocent of garments.  Now I believe in going out with the boys when the occasion demands and making a bit of a time of it, but my folks have always been good, honest church people and believers in good, strong, modest clothing and plenty of ’em.  I have always followed their example.”

“Reluctantly and at a great distance,” said I.

“Not at all,” said he and continued.  “So when I sees the condition the young lady was in I was naturally very much put out and I didn’t hesitate telling her so.

“‘Go home,’ says I, ’and put your clothes on.  You ought to be ashamed of yourself—­a great big girl like you.’

“‘Aw, pipe down, old grizzle face,’ says she; ’wot have you got in the bucket?’ And if you will believe me she began raising herself out of the water.  ‘Give me some,’ says she.

“‘Stop,’ I cries out exasperated; ’stop where you are; you’ve gone far enough.  For shame.’