“You’re a fine discriminating cluster of bifurcated, viviparous idiots,” said Van in visibly disturbing scorn.  “You fellows would have to be grabbed by the scruff of the neck and kicked into Eden, I reckon, even if the snake was killed and flung over the fence, and the fruit offered up on silver platters.  The man who hasn’t eaten one of Algy’s dinners isn’t fit to live.  The man who refuses to eat one better begin right now on his prayers.”  He took out his gun and waved it loosely about, adding:  “Which one of you remembers ’Now I lay me down to sleep’?”

There was no response.  The ten or twelve disturbers of the peace were stirring uneasily in their tracks.

Van gave them a chance.

“All who prefer to recite, ‘Now I sit me up to eat,’ please raise their hands.  Raise ’em up, raise ’em up!” he commanded with the gun.  “Put up both hands, while you’re at it.”

Up went all the hands.  Mrs. Dick arrived, and stood looking on and panting in excitement.

“Thanks for this unanimous vote,” Van resumed.  “I want to inform you boarders in particular that if ever I hear of one of you missing a meal of Algy’s cooking, or playing hookey from this lodging-house, as long as Mrs. Dick desires your inglorious company, I’ll hand you forthwith over to the pound-keeper with instructions not to waste his chloroform, but to drown the whole litter in a bag.”

“Oh, well!” said the spokesman, “I’d just as soon eat the chink’s cookin’, if it’s good.”

“Me, too,” said a follower, meek as a lamb.  A number echoed “Me, too.”  One added:  “We was just having a little bit of fun.”

“Well,” said Van judicially, “Algy’s entitled to his share.”  He raised his voice:  “Hey there, Algy—­come out here and play with the boys.”

Mrs. Dick had caught sufficient breath to explode.

“Fun!” she said.  “My windows broken!  My house all upset.  Snakes alive, if ever I heard——­”

Algy appeared and interrupted.

“What’s mallah you, Van?” he said.  “I got no time fool lound now.  Been play too much.  All time play, that velly superstich!  Nobody got time to work.”

“That’s all right,” Van assured him.  “The boys here wish to apologize for wasting your valuable time.  In fact, they insist.  Now then, boys, down on your knees, every Jack in the crowd.”

That gun of his had a horribly loose way of waving about to cover all the men.  They slumped to, rather than knelt on, their knees.

“Suminagot!” said Algy.  “All time too muchee monkey fooling!  My dinner not git leady, Van, you savvy that?  What’s mallah you?”

Van ignored the cook, in addressing the men.

“It’s your earnest desire to apologize, boys, I believe,” he said.  “All in favor will please say Aye.”

The men said Aye in growlings, rumblings, and pipings.

Van addressed his cook.  “Do you want them to kiss your hand?”