“Lost, Monday, July 19th, silver purse containing 10s. note and
    photographs; also lady’s bathing costume.”—­Local Paper.

Wrapped up in the “Fisher,” no doubt.

* * * * *

  I once knew a bowler named Patrick
  Who, after performing the “hat-trick,”
      Remarked, as he bowed
      His respects to the crowd,
  “It’s nothing:  I often do that trick!”

* * * * *

Badly SYNGED.

The scene is the morning-room of the Smith-Hybrows’ South London residence.  It is the day following the final performance of the Smith-Hybrows’ strenuous season of J.M.  Synge drama, undertaken with the laudable intention of familiarising the suburb with the real Irish temperament and the works of the dramatist in question.

Mrs. Smith-Hybrow is seated at the breakfast-table, her head buried behind the coffee urn.  She is opening her letters and “keening” softly as she rocks in her chair.

Mrs. Smith-Hybrow (scanning a letter).  Will I be helping them with the sale of work?  It’s little enough the like of me will be doing for them the way I was treated at the last Bazaar, when Mrs. McGupperty and Mrs. Glyn-Jones were after destroying me with the cutting of the sandwiches.  And was I not there for three days, from the rising of the blessed sun to the shining of the blessed stars, cutting and cutting, and never a soul to bear witness to the destroying labour of it, and the two legs of me like to give way with the great weariness (keens)?  I’ll have no call this year to be giving in to their prayers and beseechings, and I won’t care the way the Curate will be after trying to come round me, with his eyes looking at me the way the moon kisses the drops of dew on the hedgerows when the road is white.

    [Opens another letter, keening the while in a slightly higher key. 
    Enter Gertrude Smith-Hybrow. She crosses to the window and stares
    out.

Gertrude. There are black clouds in the sky, and the wind is breaking in the west and making a great stir with the trees, and they are hitting one on the other.  And there is rain falling, falling from the clouds, and the roads be wet.

Mrs. S.-H. It is your mackintosh you will be wanting when you are after going to the Stores.

Gertrude (coming to the table and speaking with dull resentment).  And why should I be going to the Stores the way I have enough to do with a meeting of the League for Brighter Homes and a luncheon of the Cubist Encouragement Society?  Isn’t it a queer hard thing that Dora cannot be going to the Stores, and her with time enough on her hands surely?

    [Sits in her place and begins keening.  While she has been speaking
    Dora has entered hurriedly, buttoning her jumper.