I would gladly have sunk into the ground.  All eyes were upon us, and remained, as I felt, upon me, even when a breathless nursery-maid had retrieved Edward and borne him seawards once more.

One especially I had noticed, a very superbly dressed female visitor who had paused to witness the whole scene and was now resuming her promenade.  I dreaded the comment which I felt I should overhear as she passed me—­“What a horrible child!” it would be at the very least.  But women are strangely unaccountable, even in so highly civilised an atmosphere as this.  I distinctly heard her say, “What a darling!”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Mother. “IT IS VERY NAUGHTY TO TELL UNTRUTHS, KITTY.  THOSE WHO DO SO NEVER GET TO HEAVEN.”

Kitty. “DIDN’T YOU EVER TELL AN UNTRUTH, MUMMY?”

Mother. “NO, DEAR—­NEVER.”

Kitty. “WELL, YOU’LL BE FEARFULLY LONELY, WON’T YOU, WITH ONLY GEORGE WASHINGTON?”]

* * * * *

THE HORRORS OF PEACE.

    “Wanted.—­Boy for Butchering, about 15 years old.”—­Local Paper.

Extract from a solicitor’s letter:—­

“The sale of the above premises is now nearing completion and we expect to have the conveyance ready for execution in the course of a short period the length of which depends to some extent upon how soon we can obtain the execution of the Bishop.”

* * * * *

NEO-TOPICS.

  There was a young neo-DELANE
  Whose writing was frequently sane;
      But the name of LLOYD GEORGE
      So uplifted his gorge
  That it threatened to swallow his brain.

  There was an adored neo-Queen
  Who ruled the whole world on the screen;
      She simply knocked spots
      Off poor MARY OF SCOTS,
  But she doubled the gloom of our Dean.

  There was an advanced neo-Georgian,
  Or perhaps we should say Georgy-Porgian,
      When asked to declare
      What his principles were,
  He invariably answered, “Pro-Borgian.”

  There was a great neo-Art critic
  Whose style was extremely mephitic;
      He treated VAN GOGH
      And CEZANNE as dead dog,
  And JOHN as a growth parasitic.

* * * * *

OUR BLOATED PLURALISTS.

    “Wanted, Organist.  Small country church.  Salary L20.  Good lodgings. 
    (Could be held with post of Milker on Manor Farm; permanent work;
    Sundays free; ample salary.)”—­Church Times.

* * * * *

    “The Grimsby trawler Silurian has towed Sir George Grahame, Minister
    Plenipotentiary in Paris, to be his Majesty’s Ambassador Extraordinary
    and Plenipotentiary to the King of the Belgians.”—­Provincial Paper.

We really think the Government might have provided him with a torpedo-boat.