At long last the House learned the Government decision regarding the increase in railway fares.  It is to come into force on August 6th, by which time the most belated Bank-Holiday-maker should have returned from his revels.  Mr. BONAR LAW appended to the announcement a surely otiose explanation of the necessity of the increase.  Everybody knows that railways are being run at a loss, due in the main to the increased wages of miners and railway-men.  Mr. THOMAS rather weakly submitted that an important factor was the larger number of men employed, and was promptly met with the retort that that was because of the shorter hours worked.

Cheered by the statement of its Leader that he still hoped to get the adjournment by August 14th the House plunged with renewed zest into the final stage of the Finance Bill.  Mr. BOTTOMLEY, whose passion for accuracy is notorious, inveighed against the lack of this quality in the Treasury Estimates.  As for the war-debt, since the Government had failed to “make Germany pay,” he urged that the principal burden should be left for posterity to shoulder.

These sentiments rather shocked Mr. ASQUITH, who, while mildly critical of Government methods, was all in favour of “severe, stringent, drastic taxation.”  Mr. CHAMBERLAIN repeated his now familiar lecture to the House of Commons, which, while accusing the Government of extravagance, was always pressing for new forms of expenditure.  In the study of economy he dislikes abstractions—­except from the pockets of the taxpayer.

* * * * *

    “Company’s water is on to the house and cowshed.”—­Advert. in Daily
    Paper.

Now we know why our water is sometimes contaminated with milk.

* * * * *

“One of the most striking of the collection of exhibits of fascinating interest [at the Imperial War Museum] is the Air Force map for carrying out the British plan for bombing Berlin.  Specimens of the bombs, weighing 3,000 pounds each, are also included in this museum of war souvenirs with the object of demonstrating the resources of the Empire and giving a stimulus to its trade.”—­South African Paper.

Motto for British traders:  “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try trinitrotoluene.”

* * * * *

THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT.

I went into the morning-room with a worried frown upon my brow.  Kathleen was doing the accounts at the table.

“Kathleen,” I said, “it’s Veronica’s birthday on Wednesday and—­”

“What did you say seven eighths were?” said Kathleen.  “I asked you last week.”

“I can’t possibly carry complicated calculations in my head from week to week,” I said; “you should have made a note of it at the time.  It’s Veronica’s birthday on Wednesday, and what do you think she wants?”

But Kathleen was enthralled by the greengrocer’s book.  “Have we really had eight cabbages this week?” she said.  “We must, I suppose.  Greengrocers are generally honest; they live so near to nature.  Well, now,” she shut up her books, “what were you saying, dear?”