CHARIVARIA.

A drought is reported from India and Eastern Africa.  Considering the amount of water which has recently escaped from clouds over here it is not surprising to find that they are feeling the pinch in other countries.

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A correspondent writes to a weekly paper inquiring when Sir Eric Geddes was born.  We admire the fellow’s restraint in not asking “Why?”

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We understand that one wealthy connoisseur has decided to give up buying Old Masters in order to save up for the purchase of a railway ticket.

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The Daily Mail points out that Lord Northcliffe has left England for the Continent.  Sir Eric Geddes is said to have remarked that he will catch his lordship coming back.

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A gentleman who is about to travel to a South Coast resort writes to inquire what his position will be if some future Government reduces the railway fares before he arrives at his destination.

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In view of the increased railway fares there is some talk of starting a Mansion House Fund to convey Scotsmen home from England before it is too late.

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Of the new railway rates it can be said that those who go farthest will fare worse.

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With reference to the man who was seen laughing in the Strand the other day, it should be pointed out that he is not an English tax-payer but a Colonial who was catching the boat home next morning.

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A Christmas-card posted at Farnham in December, 1905, has just been delivered at Ivychurch.  The theory is that the postal authorities mistook it for a business communication.

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The monocle is coming into fashion once again, and it is thought that a motorist wearing one goggle will soon be quite a common sight.

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In view of their unwieldiness and size it is being urged that motor charabancs should be required to carry a special form of hooter, to be sounded only when there is no room for a vehicle coming in the other direction to pass.  A more elaborate system of signals is also suggested, notably two short squawks and a long groan, to signify “My pedestrian, I think.”

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According to a County Court judge it is the duty of every motorist who knocks down a pedestrian to go back and ask the man if he is hurt.  But surely the victim cannot answer such a question off-hand without first consulting his solicitor.

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A great pilgrimage of house-hunters has visited the enormous marrow which is growing in an allotment at Ingatestone, but the strong military guard sent to protect it has succeeded up to the present in frustrating all attempts to occupy it.

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A motor fire-engine dashed into a draper’s shop in the North of London last Tuesday week.  We understand that one of the firemen with great presence of mind justified his action by immediately setting fire to the building.