Of curse the typewriter itself is not wolly giltless 1/2ike all mac&ines it has amind of it sown and is of like passsions with ourselves. i could put that into greek if only the machine was not so hopelessly MOdern. it ’s chief failing is that it cannot write m’sdecently and instead of h it will keep putting that confounded L. as amatter of fact ithas been doing m’s rather better today butthat is only its cusssedussedness and because i have been opening my shoul ders wenever we have come to an m; or should it be A m? who can tell; little peculiuliarities like making indifferent m’s are very important & wLen one is bying a typewiter one sLould make careful enquiries about themc; because it is things of that sort wich so often give criminals away. there is notHing a detective likes so much as a type riter with an idiosxz an idioynq damit an idiotyncrasy . for instance if i commit a murder i sLould not thinq of writing a litter about it with this of all typewriters becusa because that fool ofa L would give me away at once I daresay scotland Yard have got specimens of my trypewriting locked up in some pigeonhole allready. if they Lavent they ought to; it ought to be part of my dosossier.

i thing the place of the hypewriter in art is inshufficiently apreciated.  Modern art i understand is chiefly sumbolical expression and straigt lines. a typwritr can do strait lines with the under lining mark) and there are few more atractive symbols thaN the symbols i have used in this articel; i merely thro out the sugestion

I dont tkink i shal do many more articles like this it is tooo much like work? but I am glad I have got out of that L habit;

A.P.L.

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    “Prison for flat landlords.”—­Evening Paper.

Good.  But is nothing going to be done about the landlords with round figures?

* * * * *

    “With favourable weather, Thatcham can look forward to a pre-war show
    this year.”—­Local Paper.

Apparently Thatcham carries its eyes in the back of its head.

[Illustration:  A sea-view of the situation.

Indignant lodging-house keeper.  “And to think of that there Eric wanting to
squeeze the poor holiday-makers before I gets at ’em.”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Outraged Batsman. “Jarge, OI do believe YOU’M Bowlin’ deliberate at MOI GAMMY leg.”

Jarge (feeling that something ought to be said). “Why, WILLYUM, OI thought they was both GAMMY.”]

* * * * *