Let managers take a lesson from these few observations and they will no longer go about seeking an answer to the riddle, “Why did the cocoanut shy?”

* * * * *

THE BEST LAID SCHEMES.

    [A contemporary declares that the side-car stands unrivalled as a
    matchmaker.  It would seem, however, that opinion on the subject is not
    unanimous.]

  We motored together, the maiden and I,
    And I was delighted to take her,
  For, frankly, I wanted my side-car to try
    Its skill as a little matchmaker;
  Though up to that time I had striven my best,
    I’d more than a passing suspicion
  The spark I was anxious to light in her breast
    Still suffered from faulty ignition.

  We started betimes in the promptest of styles
    For scenes that were rustic and quiet;
  I opened the throttle; we ate up the miles
    (A truly exhilarant diet);
  Till sharply, as over a common we went,
    Gorse-clad (or it may have been heather),
  The engine stopped short with a tactful intent
    To leave the young couple together.

  ’Twas instinct (I take it) directing my course
    That named as my first occupation
  A fruitless endeavour to track to its source
    The cause of this sudden cessation;
  And so I had tinkered with tools for a space
    Ere I thought of my favourite poet,
  And said to myself, “Lo! the time and the place
    And the loved one in unison; go it.”

  I might have remembered man seldom appears
    Alluring in look or in manner
  With a smut on his nose, oleaginous ears
    And frenziedly clutching a spanner;
  Though down by the cycle I fell to my knees
    And ported my heart for inspection,
  I only received for my passionate pleas
    A curt and conclusive rejection.

* * * * *

    “Gentlewoman, good family, small means, musical, devoted to parish
    work, wishes to correspond with clergyman with view to being ’an
    helpmeet for him.’”—­Church Times.

The Matrimonial News must look to its laurels.

* * * * *

    “The Picturedrome, ——­, and ——­ Cinema, have been acquired by a
    London Syndicate, in which are several gentlemen.”—­Provincial Paper.

We do not profess to know much about the film-trade, but is this so very unusual?

* * * * *

[Illustration:  MANNERS AND MODES.

POST-WAR SIMPLICITY IN BATHING-GEAR.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Urchin (outside Club). “I BET IT WAS THE FAULT OF ’IM ON THE RIGHT.”]

* * * * *

WAYS AND MEANS.

I have read somewhere that when and/or if railway fares are increased it will cost a man travelling with his wife and two children (the children being half-fares) as much as twenty pounds to take third-class return tickets to St. Ives.