ILLUSTRATIONS

Map
The Voyage First Suggested
Preparations
Grandpa Oldberry Presages Disaster
Snoozer
Mutiny Of The Pony
Effect Of A Strange Noise
Plan For Rousing A Sound Sleeper
First Lesson In Hay Twisting
Investigations
Hats
Milking The Heifer That Wore A Sleigh Robe
Wet But Hopeful
Anti-Horse Thieves
Jack Shoots A Grouse
Flight Of The Blacksmith
Studying Botany
“When The Winds Are Breathing Low”
Sad Result Of Dishonesty
First Night Camp In The Sand Hills
Dark Doings Of The Cook
No Horse-Feed
The Careful Corn Owner
A Study In Red Men
A Good Salesman
Big Bear Looks Into The Educational Situation
A Lesson In Finance
The Rattletrap In The Storm
Effect Of A Dog On A Mexican
Post-Mortem On A Grizzly
’gene Starts A Cook-Book
Lack Of Confidence In Mankind
Flying Cord-Wood
The Deserted Ranch
Old “Blenty Vaters”
In The Prairie Fire
Well!  Well!  Well!

[Frontispiece:  Map of the voyage]

THE VOYAGE OF THE RATTLETRAP

I:  GETTING READY

Perhaps we were pretty big boys—­Jack and I. In fact, I’m afraid we were so big that we haven’t grown much since.  But Ollie was a boy, anyhow; he couldn’t have been more than a dozen years old, and we looked upon him as being a very small boy indeed; though when folks saw us starting off, some of them seemed to think that we were as boyish as he, because, they said, it was such a foolish thing to do; and in some way, I’m sure I don’t know how, boys have got the reputation of always doing foolish things.  “They’re three of a kind,” said Grandpa Oldberry, as he watched us weigh anchor; “their parents oughter be sent fer.”

Well, it’s hard to decide where to begin this true history.  We didn’t keep any log on this voyage of the Rattletrap.  But I’ll certainly have to go back of the time when Grandpa Oldberry expressed his opinion; and perhaps I ought to explain how we happened to be in that particular port.  As I said, we—­Jack and I—­were pretty big boys, so big that we were off out West and in business for ourselves, though, after all, that didn’t imply that we were very old, because it was a new country, and everybody was young; after the election the first fall it was found that the man who had been chosen for county judge wasn’t quite twenty-one years of age yet, and therefore, of course, couldn’t hold office; and we were obliged to wait three weeks till he had had his birthday, and then to have a special election and choose him again.  Everybody was young except Grandpa Oldberry and Squire Poinsett.

But I was trying to account for our being in the port of Prairie Flower.  Jack had a cheese-factory there, and made small round cheeses.  I had a printing-office, and printed a small square newspaper.  In my paper I used to praise Jack’s cheeses, and keep repeating how good they were, so people bought then; and Jack used, once in a while, to give me a cheese.  So we both managed to live, though I think we sometimes got a little tired of being men, and wished we were back home, far from thick round cheeses and thin square newspapers.