* * * * *
Of the same date with this melancholy letter are the following verses, never before printed, which he wrote in answer to some lines received from a friend, exhorting him to be cheerful, and to “banish care.” They will show with what gloomy fidelity, even while under the pressure of recent sorrow, he reverted to the disappointment of his early affection, as the chief source of all his sufferings and errors, present and to come.
“Newstead Abbey, October 11. 1811.
“’Oh!
banish care’—such ever be
The
motto of thy revelry!
Perchance
of mine, when wassail nights
Renew
those riotous delights,
Wherewith
the children of Despair
Lull
the lone heart, and ‘banish care.’
But
not in morn’s reflecting hour,
When
present, past, and future lower,
When
all I loved is changed or gone,
Mock
with such taunts the woes of one,
Whose
every thought—but let them pass—
Thou
know’st I am not what I was.
But,
above all, if thou wouldst hold
Place
in a heart that ne’er was cold,
By
all the powers that men revere,
By
all unto thy bosom dear,
Thy
joys below, thy hopes above,
Speak—speak
of any thing but love.
“’Twere
long to tell, and vain to hear
The
tale of one who scorns a tear;
And
there is little in that tale
Which
better bosoms would bewail.
But
mine has suffer’d more than well
’Twould
suit Philosophy to tell.
I’ve
seen my bride another’s bride,—
Have
seen her seated by his side,—
Have
seen the infant which she bore,
Wear
the sweet smile the mother wore,
When
she and I in youth have smiled
As
fond and faultless as her child;—
Have
seen her eyes, in cold disdain,
Ask
if I felt no secret pain.
And
I have acted well my part,
And
made my cheek belie my heart,
Return’d
the freezing glance she gave,
Yet
felt the while that woman’s slave;—
Have
kiss’d, as if without design,
The
babe which ought to have been mine,
And
show’d, alas! in each caress
Time
had not made me love the less.