here and what I wished:  I have come to acquaint you with the name of this play.  For as far as the plot is concerned, that is quite simple.

nunc quod me dixi velle vobis dicere, dicam:  huic nomen Graece Onagost fabulae; 10 Demophilus scripsit, Maccus vortit barbare; Asinariam volt esse, si per vos licet. inest lepos ludusque in hac comoedia, ridicula res est. date benigne operam mihi, ut vos, ut alias, pariter nunc Mars adiuvet.

Now I shall say what I said I wished to say:  the Greek name of this play is ONAGOS:  Demophilus wrote it:  Maccus translated it into a foreign tongue.  He wishes to call it THE COMEDY OF ASSES, by your leave.  It is a clever comedy, full of drollery and laughable situations.  Do oblige me by being attentive, that now too, as in other days, Mars may be with you.

  ACTVS I

    ACT I

    ENTER Demaenetus, FROM HIS HOUSE, BRINGING Libanus.

Lib.

Sicut tuom vis unicum gnatum tuae superesse vitae sospitem et superstitem, ita ted obtestor per senectutem tuam perque illam, quam tu metuis, uxorem tuam, si quid med erga hodie falsum dixeris, 20 ut tibi superstes uxor aetatem siet atque illa viva vivos ut pestem oppetas.

(very solemnly) As you hope to have your only son survive hale and hearty, sir, when you’re gone yourself, I implore you, sir, by your hoary hairs and by the one you dread, your wife, sir—­if you tell me any lie to-day, may she outlast you by years and years, yes, sir, and you die a living death with her alive.

Dem.

Per Dium Fidium quaeris:  iurato mihi video necesse esse eloqui quidquid roges.[1] (24) proinde actutum istuc quid sit quod scire expetis (27) eloquere:  ut ipse scibo, te faciam ut scias.

(laughing) You beg me by the very God of Truth.  Once under oath, I see I must tell you whatever you ask.  Come then, quick!  Let me hear what you wish to know, and so far as I know myself, I shall let you know.

Lib.

  Die obsecro hercle serio quod te rogem,
  cave mihi mendaci quicquam.

      For God’s sake, sir, do please answer my question seriously! 
      No lying to me, sir, mind that!

Dem.

  Quin tu ergo rogas? 30

      Then why not ask your question?

Lib.

  Num me illuc ducis, ubi lapis lapidem terit?

      (anxiously) You won’t take me where stone rubs stone, sir?

Dem.

  Quid istuc est? aut ubi istuc est terrarum loci?[2] (32)

      What do you mean?  Where in the world is that?

Lib.

  Apud fustitudinas, ferricrepinas insulas, (34)
  ubi vivos homines mortui incursant boves.