Sed eccum video qui me miseram arguit
  stupri, dedecoris.

      (aside, seeing him) Ah, there he is—­the man that charges
      his wretched wife with disloyalty and shame!

Iup.
    Jup.

  Te volo, uxor, conloqui.
  quo te avortisti?[22]

      I wish to speak with you, my dear. (circling her as she
      turns her back on him) Turned away?  Where to?

Alc.

  Ita ingenium meumst: 
  inimicos semper osa sum optuerier. 900

      It is natural I should, sir:  I always loathed looking at
      enemies.

Iup.
    Jup.

  Heia autem inimicos?

      Oh, I say now!  Enemies?

Alc.

  Sic est, vera praedico;
  nisi etiam hoc falso dici insimulaturus es.

      Yes, enemies:  and that’s the truth of it—­unless you intend
      to term this a lie, too.

Iup.
    Jup.

  Nimis iracunda es.

      (trying to fondle her) You’re too irritable.

Alc.

Potin ut abstineas manum? nam certo, si sis sanus aut sapias satis, quam tu impudicam esse arbitrere et praedices, cum ea tu sermonem nec ioco nec serio tibi habeas, nisi sis stultior stultissimo.

(pulling away) Can’t you keep your hands off?  Why surely, sir, if you were sane or had a particle of sense about you, when you think your wife is immodest and tell her so yourself, you wouldn’t hold any conversation with her at all in jest or earnest, unless you were the silliest of silly men.

Iup.
    Jup.

Si dixi, nihilo magis es, neque ego esse arbitror, et id huc revorti uti me purgarem tibi. nam numquam quicquam meo animo fuit aegrius, 910 quam postquam audivi ted esse iratam mihi. cur dixisti? inquies. ego expediam tibi.

My saying so doesn’t make you so any the more, And I don’t think you so, either; and I’ve come back to set myself right with you.  For I never did feel sicker at heart about anything than after I heard you were provoked with me.  “Why did you say it?” you’ll ask.  I’ll clear up that point for you.

non edepol quo te esse impudicam crederem; verum periclitatus sum animum tuom, quid faceres et quo pacto id ferre induceres. equidem ioco illa dixeram dudum tibi, ridiculi causa. vel hunc rogato Sosiam.

Bless your heart, it wasn’t because I believed you were immodest.  I was just testing your feelings to see what you’d do and how you’d take it. (forcing a laugh) Really it was all a joke, what I said just now, merely a bit of fun.  Why, you can ask Sosia here. (pointing to house)

Alc.

  Quin huc adducis meum cognatum Naucratem,
  testem quem dudum te adducturum dixeras,
  te huc non venisse?