et hic hodie expediet hanc docte fallaciam, 40 et suom erum faciet libertatis compotem, eodemque pacto fratrem servabit suom reducemque faciet liberum in patriam ad patrem, imprudens:  itidem ut saepe iam in multis locis plus insciens quis fecit quam prudens boni.

And Tyndarus here is going to work out this trick to-day like an artist, and set his master at liberty.  By so doing he will rescue his own brother, too, and enable him to return home to his father a free man, all quite unwittingly,—­as in so many cases before now a man has often done more good unconsciously than wittingly.

sed inscientes sua sibi fallacia ita compararunt et confinxerunt dolum itaque hi commenti, de sua sententia ut in servitute hic ad suom maneat patrem:  ita nunc ignorans suo sibi servit patri; 50 homunculi quanti sunt, quom recogito! haec res agetur nobis, vobis fabula.

But all unconsciously, in their trickery, they have so planned and contrived and schemed, acting upon their own ideas, that Tyndarus will stay here as his own father’s slave.  So now it is his father he is serving unawares.  What helpless creatures we mortals be, when I stop to reflect!  All this will be fact on the boards, fiction for the benches.

sed etiam est, paucis vos quod monitos voluerim. profecto expediet fabulae huic operam dare. non pertractate facta est neque item ut ceterae:  neque spurcidici insunt versus, immemorabiles; hic neque periurus leno est nec meretrix mala neque miles gloriosus; ne vereamini, quia bellum Aetolis esse dixi cum Aleis:  foris illic extra scaenam fient proelia. 60

About one thing more, though, I should like to offer a word or two of suggestion.  It will undeniably be to your profit to pay attention to this play.  It is not composed in the hackneyed style, is quite unlike other plays; nor does it contain filthy lines that one must not repeat.  In this comedy you will meet no perjured pimp, or unprincipled courtesan, or braggart captain.  Let not my statement that the Aetolians and Eleans are at war alarm you:  engagements will take place off the stage yonder.

nam hoc paene iniquomst, comico choragio conari desubito agere nos tragoediam. proin si quis pugnam expectat, litis contrahat:  valentiorem nactus adversarium si erit, ego faciam ut pugnam inspectet non bonam, adeo ut spectare postea omnis oderit.

It would almost amount to imposition, you know, for us, in our comedy get-up, to try to present a tragedy all of a sudden.  So if anyone is looking for a battle scene, let him pick a quarrel:  if he gets a good strong opponent, I promise him a glimpse of a battle scene so unpleasant that hereafter he will hate the very sight of one.

  abeo. valete, iudices iustissimi
  domi duellique duellatores optumi.