The town that has brought an untimely death to many a Theban citizen has been crushed and captured by the strength and valour of our soldiery, aye, and chiefly under the command and auspices of my own master, Amphitryon.  He has furnished forth his countrymen with booty and land and fame, and fixed King Creon firm upon his Theban throne.

me a portu praemisit domum, ut haec nuntiem uxori suae, ut gesserit rem publicam ductu imperio auspicio suo. ea nunc meditabor quo modo illi dicam, cum illo advenero. si dixero mendacium, solens meo more fecero.

(subsiding) As for me, he has sent me on ahead home from the harbour to tell his wife the news:  how the state was served under the leadership, command, and auspices of—­his very own self. (meditating) Now let me think how I am to tell her the tale when I get there.  If I do work in a lie or two, it won’t be anything extraordinary for me.

nam cum pugnabant maxume, ego tum fugiebam maxume; verum quasi adfuerim tamen simulabo atque audita eloquar. 200 sed quo modo et verbis quibus me deceat fabularier, prius ipse mecum etiam volo his meditari. sic hoc proloquar.

The fact is, it was just when they were doing their hardest fighting that I was doing my hardest running.  Oh well, I’ll pretend I was there just the same, and recite what I heard tell about it.  But the neatest way to narrate my story—­ and the words to use—­I must practise a bit by myself beforehand here.

Principio ut illo advenimus, ubi primum terram tetigimus, continuo Amphitruo delegit viros primorum principes; eos legat, Telobois iubet sententiam ut dicant suam; si sine vi et sine hello velint rapta et raptores tradere, si quae asportassent redderent, se exercitum extemplo domum reducturum, abituros agro Argivos, pacem atque otium dare illis; sin aliter sient animati neque dent quae petat, sese igitur summa vi virisque eorum oppidum oppugnassere. 210

(pauses) Here’s how we’ll begin. (lays lantern down and addresses supposed Alcmena importantly) First and foremost, when we reached there, as soon as we had touched land, straightway Amphitryon picks out the most illustrous of his captains.  These he sends forth as legates and bids convey his terms to the Teloboians, to wit:  should they wish, without contention and without strife, to deliver up pillage and pillagers and restore whatsoever they had carried off, he himself would lead his army home forthwith and the Argives would leave their land and grant them peace and quietude; but were they otherwise disposed, and disinclined to yield what he sought, he would thereupon with all the force at his command make onslaught on their city.