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ANOTHER LADY M.P.?

    “Mr. Asquith was accompanied by Mrs. Asquith and the audience singing
    ‘He’s a jolly good Lady Bonham-Carter.’”—­Scotch Paper.

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A FANCY BIRD.

When any friend of mine is in trouble I always make a point of writing and asking if there is anything I can do.  As a rule, there isn’t, but it is a satisfaction to me to know I have made the offer.  When I heard that Filmer was leaving his spacious house and grounds at Hampstead, selling half his furniture and moving into a third storey flat at Battersea, I wrote at once.  I received in reply one of his usual barely decipherable scrawls:  “Yes, old dear, you might find a home for my raven; it’s ancient and a bit rusty, but lots of life in it yet.  I’m parting with all my garden things.”

I busied myself about the matter at once.  When a man you have known and respected for years is driven by high prices and income-tax to vacate a beautiful home and asks such a simple thing of you as to find a shelter for his bird, you like to do your best.  Personally I knew nothing of ravens, but I recognized the inadequacy of my garden for the accommodation of a bird of any kind, therefore I could not think of taking it.  But I had a surface acquaintance with the owner of a carriage drive, and I approached him without delay.  He was cold in his manner and said with so many calls upon him he could not see his way to contribute towards the expense of Filmer’s move, although he had no doubt, from my representation, that it was a deserving case.

The misunderstanding arose from my leading up to the object of my visit gradually instead of coming to the point at once and asking him to give a comfortable home to a raven.  When I explained further he unbent and said he would think it over.

Later he wrote:—­

Re RAVEN.

“DEAR SIR,—­I have consulted an authority on this bird and find that its bad character has brought about its practical extinction in this country save in the mountain fastnesses of Wales and the craggy moors of Yorkshire.  I also learn that its extended wings measure thirty-six inches on an average.  I must decline to provide an asylum for such an extensive mass of depravity.”

I confess I was discouraged and also somewhat shocked.  I felt Filmer should have enlightened me more on the characteristics of his protege.  The episode taught me to avoid preamble in my next quest for a domicile.  Also I thought it only right to express myself with absolute frankness.  The address of a lady with a reputation for a love of animals was given to me, and I hastened to call upon her.  She answered the door herself.

“Madam,” I said, “may I ask you of your kind heart to give a home to an almost extinct bird of evil character about a yard across?”

She looked startled for a moment and then quietly closed the door.