The very opposite of the girl who is misunderstood and undervalued because of her shyness, is the girl who, because of her boldness and independence, her carelessness of speech, hilarity and adventuresomeness is misunderstood.

“She doesn’t mean anything by it,” said one girl of another whom she was trying to defend in the presence of a critic, “she is good hearted, generous and just fine, but she has been brought up in a large family where they have noisy times together.”  The critic accepted the explanation but strangers, new people whom she met, men and women upon the street, constantly misunderstood the girl whose unfortunate manners would lead one to believe she was a most undesirable friend.  The girl was conscious that she was misjudged and misunderstood and was growing hard and beginning not to care when an older woman who loved her showed her with real tact where the trouble lay.  No one could help admiring that girl as she struggled to overcome the things which had been the cause of all the misunderstandings.

I met awhile ago, a girl whom her companions described as wooden.  I knew that she wanted to talk with me, that she was interested in the people whom the group were discussing.  She seemed like a bright girl and I felt sure that she had thoughts of her own worth hearing if she would only express them.  That was her trouble.  She couldn’t find words so she said “yes,” and “no” with effort when a remark was addressed directly to her, otherwise she was silent.  Later in the day a girl friend who really appreciated her told me how very interesting she was when one knew her well enough to dispel the awful fear that she should say the wrong thing.  She read the very best things and was conversant with the history of important events all over the world.  “She is a regular encyclopedia,” said her ardent defender.

This wooden girl is misunderstood simply because she has not learned to express the thoughts she has.  She is unhappy, and feels that people do not like her, and do not enjoy her company.  In her heart she blames them.  But one cannot expect everyone to penetrate the exterior and see and appreciate real worth.  Most people take us for what we seem to be and if we appear cold, uninteresting and ill at ease, they seek pleasanter companions.  The wooden girl can overcome her stiffness and learn to let people see that she thinks.  She can cultivate a very rare art—­the art of listening with appreciation.  There are very few listeners in any group of people and often not one in a group of women.  It is a great thing to be able to listen with that attention and interest which draws out the very best in the one who is talking.