We have introduced these facts before replying to the question—­“What is to be done with the graver offences?” for the purpose of first exhibiting the relation that may and ought to be established between parents and children; for on the existence of this relation depends the successful treatment of these graver offences.  And as a further preliminary, we must now point out that the establishment of this relation will result from adopting the system here advocated.  Already we have shown that by simply letting a child experience the painful reactions of its own wrong actions, a parent avoids antagonism and escapes being regarded as an enemy; but it remains to be shown that where this course has been consistently pursued from the beginning, a feeling of active friendship will be generated.

At present, mothers and fathers are mostly considered by their offspring as friend enemies.  Determined as the impressions of children inevitably are by the treatment they receive; and oscillating as that treatment does between bribery and thwarting, between petting and scolding, between gentleness and castigation; they necessarily acquire conflicting beliefs respecting the parental character.  A mother commonly thinks it sufficient to tell her little boy that she is his best friend; and assuming that he ought to believe her, concludes that he will do so.  “It is all for your good;” “I know what is proper for you better than you do yourself;” “You are not old enough to understand it now, but when you grow up you will thank me for doing what I do;”—­these, and like assertions, are daily reiterated.  Meanwhile the boy is daily suffering positive penalties; and is hourly forbidden to do this, that, and the other, which he wishes to do.  By words he hears that his happiness is the end in view; but from the accompanying deeds he habitually receives more or less pain.  Incompetent as he is to understand that future which his mother has in view, or how this treatment conduces to the happiness of that future, he judges by the results he feels; and finding such results anything but pleasurable, he becomes sceptical respecting her professions of friendship.  And is it not folly to expect any other issue?  Must not the child reason from the evidence he has got? and does not this evidence seem to warrant his conclusion?  The mother would reason in just the same way if similarly placed.  If, among her acquaintance, she found some one who was constantly thwarting her wishes, uttering sharp reprimands, and occasionally inflicting actual penalties on her, she would pay small attention to any professions of anxiety for her welfare which accompanied these acts.  Why, then, does she suppose that her boy will do otherwise?