Dom. Beware how you accuse one of my order upon light suspicions.  The naughty couple, that I meant, were your wife and you, whom I left together with great animosities on both sides.  Now, that was the occasion,—­mark me, Gomez,—­that I thought it convenient to return again, and not to trust your enraged spirits too long together.  You might have broken out into revilings and matrimonial warfare, which are sins; and new sins make work for new confessions.

Lor. Well said, i’faith, friar; thou art come off thyself, but poor I am left in limbo. [Aside.

Gom. Angle in some other ford, good father, you shall catch no gudgeons here.  Look upon the prisoner at the bar, friar, and inform the court what you know concerning him; he is arraigned here by the name of colonel Hernando.

Dom. What colonel do you mean, Gomez?  I see no man but a reverend brother of our order, whose profession I honour, but whose person I know not, as I hope for paradise.

Gom. No, you are not acquainted with him, the more’s the pity; you do not know him, under this disguise, for the greatest cuckold-maker in all Spain.

Dom. O impudence!  O rogue!  O villain!  Nay, if he be such a man, my righteous spirit rises at him!  Does he put on holy garments, for a cover-shame of lewdness?

Gom. Yes, and he’s in the right on’t, father:  when a swinging sin is to be committed, nothing will cover it so close as a friar’s hood; for there the devil plays at bo-peep,—­puts out his horns to do a mischief, and then shrinks them back for safety, like a snail into her shell.

Lor. It’s best marching off, while I can retreat with honour.  There’s no trusting this friar’s conscience; he has renounced me already more heartily than e’er he did the devil, and is in a fair way to prosecute me for putting on these holy robes.  This is the old church-trick; the clergy is ever at the bottom of the plot, but they are wise enough to slip their own necks out of the collar, and leave the laity to be fairly hanged for it. [Aside and exit.

Gom. Follow your leader, friar; your colonel is trooped off, but he had not gone so easily, if I durst have trusted you in the house behind me.  Gather up your gouty legs, I say, and rid my house of that huge body of divinity.

Dom. I expect some judgment should fall upon you, for your want of reverence to your spiritual director:  Slander, covetousness, and jealousy, will weigh thee down.

Gom. Put pride, hypocrisy, and gluttony into your scale, father, and you shall weigh against me:  Nay, an sins come to be divided once, the clergy puts in for nine parts, and scarce leaves the laity a tithe.

Dom. How dar’st thou reproach the tribe of Levi?